the weather here just turned deathly cold. Despite the fact that summer’s still running its last stretch, the already cool summer weather had just turned chilly.

Meanwhile, scores of students have started their journeys back into university life, and i re-join them in this damn trodden path i am trying to escape.

In these past few months, i have sat down, reviewed, and am certain that i should perhaps take a break from this sad path of studying. There was a lot on my mind: from dad being sick, to not earning money but just accruing debts, to the idea that i am still locked down to being a student - perhaps, a part of my brain started moaning, i am just not cut out for it. Or, perhaps, i need to sit down and re-gather my life and thoughts about me from a fresh point of view.

So i sought out my employer, and asked him for a full time position. Despite whatever happened in the past, these past few months have shown him to be more of a caring man than i ever did imagine him to be. He is very flexible, and quite approachable - albeit i still lose my balls when i want to ask my own employer something. He agreed to it, including the request for an employee visa so i could stay on.

This was in November.

By some furthest stretch of luck, he mistook my request, and some other statements, with some other inquiries by another manager. And so, the request for an employee visa lapsed altogether.

and i am still at school.

Last week’s message from God was, “be not afraid, i go before you always. Come follow me, and trust in me, and i will lead you home.”

I was running away, so i can play with being an idiot, and be lazy as much as i want. I was afraid of Uni, and how i felt so stupid whenever i attend classes. The thing is, I can’t run away from God’s will: there is simply no such thing as coincidence.

So as i pick up my pen today, and doodle with my notes, i will just say this: i know what I have to do, and i will strive to the end. I am not infallible though, and i will need lots of help to stay on top of my game, particularly since i am still expected to fulfill my duties as an assistant store manager.

There’s still something else though, funnily. Despite expecting to work, and looking forward to it, a part of me looked at the returning students two weeks ago, and had a small yearning to join them.

The grass is always greener on the other side. :p

i am very happy.

no, i am very very very happy. and even though i am suffering another bout of insomnia, i am smiling from ear to ear.

This is going to be a very challenging, but extremely exciting semester just yet. i can feel it!

now, if i have the extra cash to go on a clothes shopping spree, i think i will be complete. woohoo!

p.s WADGE AND YVETTE!! THERE’S GUITAR HERO IN CIVIC JBI! $127 BUX!! GO! (i hid it in a corner, let’s hope no one saw it LOL)

Dear God,

i know you love me. It still astounds me everyday.

thanks for the miracle. no really, Thank you.

i love you too!

Francyn