the better end of life
have you ever had a day that went like 99% excellent, save a few scrubs, then one small incident at the end of the day, something small exploded and just ruined your day?
yer. that’s what happened today… not that it totally ruined my day, i just felt so shit for an hour or so.. and it left a bad taste in my mouth.
first off, i was late for my orientation today due to some bus fuck up. the bus was suppose to arrived at 9.31, but i was there at like… 9.25 and the bus had just left. like, right infront of me. the old lady in the bus shelter was whining about how it came early too -.- normally some bus drivers had wait a bit before driving off if they are early.
this one happily zoomed off. -.-
anyways… so i got there late, and they passed us some goodie bags for “morning tea”… i think it must be raining blessings or some shit. the entire goodie bag was full of sweets.. LOL.. i know it’s not healthy! i do! i just can’t save myself.. there’s fizzy lifesavers!! and chips!! and omg! lollipops! mentos!!!!!
yer i went stupid right there lmao… and i didn’t have breakfast prior to that so that wasn’t very helpful.
most of the people in that class were asian, as i expected… there was this guy who might be from the maldives who was a caucasian, and that’s really it. there were only like 7 or 8 of us though LOL… not much of a comparison really. we were given our timetables and such, and suddenly, i felt a sense of surrealism.
i got kicked by uni. i am joining another uni, without letting my parents know.
what the fuck am i doing?
i felt overwhelmed. i didn’t dare to carry forward my plan initially. i still had the money in my wallet as i munch on the free lunch and walked towards the student union, ready to pay bills or bail on myself. i didn’t know if i should pay. my breath caught as i handed over the first 1k. then the 3k.
i felt so shit, and yet excited. i mean, fuck, i looked at my timetable, my course schedule for the next 3 semesters, and i realised “this is going to be a breeze other than fucking maths.”
and i knew i could do it. and i didn’t know if i should, but i knew i could do it. so i handed over the remainders of my life’s money and then went “screw the world” and just decided i am just going to study.
i knew i had the same drive when i first arrived here. hell, i was so enthusiastic, i packed up a month before i officially left singapore. would anything be different this time? i don’t know. i am going to start things different though, counselling appointments to start soon. 
coz i know i need it and coz that is part of the reason why i insist on staying.
i started work at 5 today, and there was no one for a long long time. infact, it was a terribly quiet night. my tables were sat, and they were not “re-used” for another group. so essentially, i only served 5 tables worth of people tonight, and then after they left, i was free to go.
i made another innocent error today, but it wasn’t totally my fault. i was hungry and was just casually talking to my trainer about it. she said there were another group of people coming in at 9 anyways, and to go ahead and order food if i really want to.
the kitchen wasn’t too happy about that, although i apologised heavily for it.
apparently, my trainer has no say in these issues though, and only my manager and the head chef really could decide on such things. 
as i left, i realised i forgot to sign out. so i went back in to sign out and said bye the the guys. ben, the guy closest to me, just turned around and smash a steak at the cutting board. then threw his knife at the steak as if it offended him.
then sat staring into space as he went into his corner.
i felt so shit at that point. i thought it was ok, coz my trainer said it was ok. most of the time, people took her word for it too, as if she’s a manager, and i did like wise, never realising sometimes it’s wrong. don said not to worry about it since i didn’t do it deliberately nor knowingly.
but as i walked out, all that i could keep in my mind was how ben threw the steak and his knife.
altho ben said bye later on, the damage has been done. i didn’t know if he was serious or if he was pissed with someone else. it wasnt a nice image to keep though, considering so far, i only knew i was the only one who had did a mistake in that last 10 mins.
school was great, work was mostly great…
to end the night with bad images…
isn’t great.
a new leaf
i did absoutlutely nothing productive today, or properly constructive anyways.
a few hours of lineage 2, a few hours of reading, a few hours of cooking and cleaning and throwing trash.. (ok maybe that’s constructive in a sense) and that was really about it.
for the last few days, a tummy ache would wake me up between 7-10 am, and i don’t know what’s that about. i know i have a weak stomach, and it gives me hell every so often (aside from the monthly cramps, i have weekly upheavals) and pisses me off. and today, there was no exception.
tomorrow though, is a big day, and try as i might, i can’t keep it out of my head.
it’s the orientation at my new school, and i don’t know what to make of it. to start right at the bottom again pissed me off, although it’s no one’s fault but mine to blame. the fact remains, i will be amongst people younger than me, yet again, and this time by quite a number of year, instead of just 2-3 years at most as before.
ashamed? a little. but i am more pissy because with every batch, there’s going to be a bitchy few, and as i grew older, i am leaning towards a quiter environment. the past few years of college living showed me that each year though, as the new batch comes in, i have to face noisier and noisier “next generation”.
i don’t know if i can actually handle all that, plus the bitchy few people and so on.
the other irrational fear also derives from the fact i am no longer going to a familiar place. it’s new, it’s unexpected, well kinda, and i am not so sure about all that. i will try to fit in though. i have to, otherwise everything’s going to fuck up again.
to me, the next two weeks means a whole lot. it means a new beginning that possibly might have no end. or it could end as abruptly as my last experience, with worse off results. i can’t fuck up this time, because i have no more next time.
come february though, i would have even more decisions to make base on the outcome of the next couple of weeks. linxy has told me he might move back to sydney to complete his education, as it is cheaper. from the sounds of it, most of it has already been decided and planned already, just a matter of time and this rent ending and so on.
although it had been a very bad year, with him and with everything else, i would really hate to see him go. then again, i hate departures. fucking emo kid. i guess i could kind of understand though, because no matter how hard he tried, he hasn’t managed to save much money this year, and might not be able to come up with bond money and etc next year, not to mention the high rental rates anyways.
with that, it means i might have to move back on to campus, albeit in a new campus, unless i suddenly find another housemate to stay with. even so, the time my lease ends is an odd time of the year, slightly before everyone comes back.
girls… if u r interested… *looks hopeful* call me… ^_^ we can find one in the same estate/neighbourhood and perhaps cheaper, i don’t know. i can’t survive paying abt 190 a week anyways, i think. there are cheaper out there and we can hunt around closer to that time.
of course, i can choose alternatives… i know kingston has a studio on rent and so on. my only concern is coz i just got a job in civic, and if i suddenly move now, i don’t want to wait another 3 years for a new job.
eugh.
new plans, new places, new decisions..
damn. i hate to use my brains.
dancing in the rain
canberra has the most retarded weather out of all the places in australia in my opinion.
while we are almost reaching summer, and many places are now nice and warm, we had 2 days of warmth, and retarded freezing temperature in my house, and then it rained for 2 days now, cold beyond cold.
i walked home in the rain today, happy and more than happy. i know, where i am now, it is not my real job, just a form of sustenance. the thing is, for the first time in my entire “waitressing” career, people trust me enough to just chuck me into a section and ran it all by myself. of course, there were some help. there were people who helped me clean up when i am too slow to keep up with it. there were others who took side others for me and further more who kept on reminding me what i forget (dessert spoons for desserts, take out dessert menu… what have you..).
but on the whole, i called the shots.
i constantly remind my customers that i am new and this is my first night truly waitressing. and what made me happy was that they were just as encouraging as my colleagues, if not more so. i had an entire table of 5 cheering me every time they received the right meals -.- LOL…
and another table who kept on chatting to me, asking me where i came from, asking me how i like australia.
like? i actually love australia. i don’t think i can find customers like them back home. really, seriously. lol.
there were others who couldn’t make up their minds and just took my word for it and just fell in love with the food anyways.
despite discovering that the 800 mystery bux aint mystery bux anymore, and that they don’t actually belong to me, work lifted up my spirit today and i just am so overwhelmed.
there are somethings in life, we all take for granted. our family, our friends, our plants, the people around us and everything else. then when i sit down and truly look through everything i had today, it overshadowed any doubts i had, any lack of self confidence i had.
i walked home in the rain, humming to canon in d, in time with my ipod running thru my ears… dancing and hoping all the way home in the rain.
in case you are wondering, yes, i did it again. every time i bring out my fucking umbrella, it doesn’t rain. and when i stop bothering to, it just decides to pee on me.
fucking clouds.
Money and the last day of noobness
i went to work today, feeling all shit coz i kept on calculating what’s meant to be in my bank, and i knew i am short still by about 1-200 or so. i didn’t want to call dad coz i know he’s broke. i didn’t know what to do other than drag on rent for another week or so or just a few more days.
but landlady has made the rent such that it pays off her bills. so i can’t afford to make someone else pays for the mistakes i make in judgement, in lending money, in trusting people to pay me back. and no, it’s not just purely linxy, there’s that ass of a william.
just to double check on my balance and calculation, i went to the atm prior to work. prior to this, i had about 4.2 k or so, just barely enough and needed abt 200 more to pay school fees. then i have 1.1k cash plus waiting on linxy to repay me back money so that i can afford rent.
then i would be broke for a week.
i opened my account to find a wooping 5.9k. i was stunned.
i don’t know where it came from. i called my dad. he said he didn’t send shit.
even now, using the net bank, things didn’t quite tally up. even after linxy paid me, there’s an unexplained 800.
i walked to work in the rain, getting all emo and tearing. i didn’t know what to do, whether if it’s my money or not. i didn’t want to have the false hopes, but i didn’t know where the money came from and if it was legal or a mistake.
it was after hours by then, and no one i can ask. the system doesn’t fully update till monday. till then, i would know where my mystery 800 came from. and i am still… in the middle of hopeful, grateful and sad that i have hit this stage where i go emo coz there’s fucking money in my bank.
when i reached work, i didn’t know how i could stand it. i didn’t know if i could work it. i contemplated getting the night off, because i was just standing there trying not to tear even more.
i guess, i don’t understand. how did i spent 5k on someone, and instead of keeping to his promises he just ran away and then later comes back to threaten my life for a mistake that he has done? how is it that people think it’s ok for others to empthasize with their situation but they refuse to do the same back?
infact, how is it also ok, that i lend someone money, and they can’t be bothered if i was financially ok?
it baffles, it hurts and i just couldn’t comprehend it. and in that few moments before work well and truly start, that was all that was going thru my head. “is it all going to be ok now? is it not a joke? is it not a bank error? dear God, don’t do this to me, there’s only so much i can take. 24 years now, it’s been almost 24 years now. and all i have been getting is shit after shit after shit.”
10 years old. that was the first time i started contemplating suicide. 10 years old, when my grandpa passed away, and i felt so sorry that the last thing i did to him was to kick him and yelled at him for not buying me a doll when i was 5 years old.
in that 5 years, i have never told him how i was sorry. in that 5 years, all i did was stayed in singapore and completely avoid him coz i was too egoistic to say sorry. and then he passed on. i clung on to the coffin, with chickenpox all across me, weeping and refusing to let go. i don’t know what to do. i still wanted to say sorry, but fuck, everything was too late.
too little. too late.
there are ups and downs in my life, and much as everyone like to think they tonnes of downs, i have my “tonnes of downs”. from being a failure at primary school, to being raped at 17 by my own boyfriend, to being kicked from uni, to trying to come to grasps with how to handle the unavoidable leaving of Australia.
as i walked around today, on my last day of being a noob at work, i still got emo, but kept to myself. for now, the financial bits seems solved. hell, i even have a little left over, enough to enjoy life. i walked around this restaurant thinking, “God, i don’t want to leave this place, but if i have to, i will. but i will cry. oh God, i will cry.”
from the laughing babies, to the understanding customers, to telling customers i am a mail order bride (lmao.. that expression from them was priceless), the memories of these i am not going to lose. i am not going to leave now, but when it arrives…
i will cry.
and be thankful that i had this experience.
fucking emo day.
omfg…
i can’t stop laughing. i seriously can’t. my sides are aching.
thanks to stef noble on flickr
just tell me, how priceless is this expression from a kitty..?
i goddamn want a kitty now!!! except, i am just an international student. don’t wana force a cat to constantly move with me lol…
lol.. like being caught in the middle of wanking LOLLLLL
falling in love…
ever wondered why i am in love with cats? i mean, i love all other animals too, i just have this huge thing for species in the feline family
i don’t think i need to tell you why anymore. how could you ever turn something like that away? that’s why i always pick up the strays or the abandoned and try to feed them and look after them till parents gets home. poor thin little things… but still, the kittens should not be abandoned in stupid singapore monsoon rains.
more picts in flickr under robyn anderson who seems like she runs some kind of kitty care center at her home or something lol… all so adorable, so cute… so.. friendly.
Working - Day 09
one more day to go, before i considered myself at least out of the noobness at work.
just before i showered and got ready for work, the door bell rang. it was the person who bought my ibook. turns out it was a guy, despite a feminine sounding email name. he came in with his mum, with a bright orange hair and a youngish look.
great. charbie just got bought a punkster. well so i thought. i gave him the chance to have a run of the machine, but he seems fine with it, just on-ing it to have a look that it works and nothing beyond that. other than my macworld magazine, even my ibook glove went with him, so that there were no more reminders of my charbie.
when the door closed, somehow, the house seemed lonlier and sadder.
blah. stupid sentimental shit.
got to work, to find we were terribly under staffed. people who normally work the bar were out on the floor as well. poor don who was supposed to man the door with chewbacca, my store manager (lmao , i won’t go into why he’s called chewbaca) was just terribly busy and filled to the brim with trying to man both the doors and the tables.
and he wanted me to attach to him to learn how to serve and so on. in the end, because of the confusion, i asked if he doesn’t mind if i just take over entirely.
and from there, that section went from don to me. he does occassionally check in to make sure i was all right, and did the right stuff, cleared up my section for me when i got too busy and so on. i made small mistakes here and there, but he just patiently reminded me for each and every one of them, which was awesome.
most importantly, the customers themselves were ok with it. i was slow, because i wanted to make sure all were right, so i just slowly built it up. from cashiering to just plainly doing things independently, i felt i did all right. coz some people were busy, i can’t ask them to watch over me permanently. they were all understanding, nice and just patient with my errors (bleah… forgot to ask how they like their steak done).
surprisingly, it didn’t tire me out as much as it normally did, and time just flew on by. i was perfectly happy, dancing and singing to the stupid radio.. well not really dancing, more like bopping. but whatever rocks your boat eh..?
so despite the fact that charbie is gone, i have gotten enough money to bugger rent off, and pay uni fees, and now, all i have to do, i just set myself up for orientation next week.
if you are wondering, the secondary appeal failed aparna did a good job of hounding them, and considering how anal they were, i was hoping we had come to a certain compromise. of course, they being such… blah people… they just decided to take me for a long ride despite saying “next week, tomorrrow, next week”.
so in a way, i am glad i changed my school, despite the circumstances behind it. i don’t see a point in being with a school that cares more about it’s reputation, it’s income than the welfare of it’s student. although i understand that their income is based on their students, and that’s all uni is about really, i feel we need to be heard more than just “put in money, work your ass off and then please get lost.”
so yer. i am feeling nervous, still need to hear about my advanced standing chances, but i guess i should be all right for a while.
sold
blah…
charbie got sold. someone picked the buy it now option for aud $1100, since it was an old model and etc and that was like the last buy it now option that i have seen in that price range crap.
blah. she going to do a personal pick up.
i don’t wana part with my baby ffs.
Wadge and sadness
wadge and i had dinner at la pasa, a proper one in the restaurant’s opinion. the food isn’t all that bad, considering that it’s a watered down version of asian food and stuff. wade had ayam something something, basically tomato sauce fried chicken type stuff, one of their specials listed under curry. which is kinda weird by the way, it isn’t really a curry. not even the least spicy o.o more like sweet chicken or something.
i had the curry chicken rice, basic dish so easier to gauge the dishes.
as i said, they are pretty all right, they could do with more generous servings of curry sauce on my rice though, it was.. not enough. at least for me. you know how curry should be, all over your rice, dripping wet and what not. that was just… moist. hehe….
we had a bit of a discussion with regards to our respective half. i am still getting used to the idea of a long distance relationship, and was thus a little cut by gin’s words that
1) she doesn’t believe he exists,
2) what if he’s fucking women around behind my back or
3) he has been lying to me about himself?
then she apologised, saying that she just doesn’t trust guys.
well. i still say, “shouldn’t i be the one saying all these, gin?”
it’s not just about ed. not everything revolves around him. william ran off with my 5k leaving me in a debt yet threatens to fuck me up when i go back, since i broke up with him. eddie broke into my email account, and by the way, you probably didn’t know this.
he cybered my friend and offered to pay for her cab down to “visit” him. i am sure i needn’t elaborate on what the visit was for. obviously kim and i are no longer friends.
you know what nick said. and i ain’t guna talk about my first because… that’s some painful history that i am sure at some stage i have told you about.
between you and me, and some of my other friends, gin, it should be harder for me to trust guys since i had to physically endure it, emotionally run through it and in the end was still with nothing much more than tears. it took me some money, lotsa other pain to find my way back into the light again.
life sux. but if i don’t trust God to throw something all right my way at some point in time, then i never would find the light. it’s good to be cautious, but not overtly worried about shit like that.
we talked about forum life, because other than Densha Otoko, which many people are forcing me to watch coz it’s crazy LOL, there’s quite a bit going on in some of the forums i frequent now. in the life that i lead now, to save my money, i rarely go out.this usually ends up with me being on the net or reading some random fantasy books all the time. it’s not that bad a deal, seeing that half my friends are back home, and the other half i pick up all across the net. from counter-strike, to lineage 2 peeps. at some point in time, our interaction lands up in a forum.
the thing is, look at l2blah.com for example. there are those who didn’t care if the other side of the monitor is a person or a comp. the huge amounts of flaming, e penis wanking and what have you. there is a line though, and this line can be crossed. you never know how much paying out a person can take.
if a person starts approaching mods and shit, then perhaps it’s a hint to pull out and stop the barraging.
some forums, sadly, has inattentive mods, mods who just don’t care or don’t wanna care. of course there are some who just simply can’t get involved.
Zoticx/hamster, comes to mind. in dec, one of our long time players died due to a bad car accident. while every sent their condolences, irregardless of their differences, zoticx hopped on and started being a hoe.
wait a minute…
zoticx has always been a hoe anyways, whether the people are dead or alive. as long as they don’t know him in real life, they aren’t friends, so no need to worry about them.
nevermind about that one time. zoticx is a hoe, period, in any forum, to most people except his clannies (i have heard contradicting views from ONE SAME PERSON so i shall just /ignore).
of course, in l2, no one really cares about the mods. hell, even sanctom (YES YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHEEP HUMPER, I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG!) would just create multiple accounts or spam for 2 pages in a row and get warned/banned/suspended, wash, repeat.
the key thing is, knowing when to ignore if you are getting hit, and knowing when to stop your own flaming. do unto others what you would want them to do unto you. consequences results from your actions, so don’t start whining and pointing fingers when you have obviously started shit that went out of control.
oh… and the discussion about our l2 lives, sucks that he’s on another server and i can’t abuse him everyday >.>
my new mask!!! all the pinkness unto me!!! weee… uhm the hair cuts into the mask abit, so now i look like i am blinded by my hair.
i finally got my tatts, but it also resulted in my -8 str. not that it made a hell of a difference. people still regen faster than i damage them. thanks to jake since lazy ol’ me can’t be fucked waiting for mammon just for my own tatts and also, uhm, i fucked up and bought the wrong tatts.
check out the damn clan tag man LOL… stupid mith LOL who the hell draws such a sad face LMAO.. it’s such a smoke face lmao T_T and i laughed all the way to work because of smoke’s damn sig and this damn clan tag!!!
yes, i know, my buffs viewing option is opened. i can’t live without them, i usually use them to see who’s poisoned and etc. habitual and good.i know it covers half my screen, but i am used to it now anyways feel weird if i go without them.
as for l2x, i think i am almost done with it. there’s nothing more to do there, again as i found out. i finally managed to log in, after discovering what my problem was. only to find my character stripped other than a weapon. after a few asking around, it seems that the gms’ decided to remove s grade armour from the game.
while mammon sells b grade upwards worth of gears and weapons, s grade armour aren’t buyables. someone claim they crash if they try to buy.
some good patching though, albeit, uhm, it’s a server wide underwear patch, so it’s different kind of naked as compared to our actual ncsoft idea of naked.
that WAS my dragon tooth. new name is angel slayer… hrm.. i like the wingsy part…
work tmr… and i only slept 4 hrs today.
gg.
bad customer relations
remember i have been playing this new game called gopets. initially it’s fairly addictive. but with only so much to do, i have just been afk-ing on it, rather than entertaining the multitudes of beggers i get sometimes. all i usually do though, on gopets, is really buy sell, read forums, collect more clothings and etc.
so one fine day, i was happily surfing the trade forums, when i see this dude, whom i was told works for gopets, started saying that someone was plagiarising another person’s designs.
see, a select 25 have been chosen to design their own clothes, using the present items available as bases. he kept on at it, despite her ignoring him, spanning over 3 posts till i was like, shut it. then mods step in and told him to bring it to private messages, but still, he went on, but this time in other threads and forums.
and get this, he works for CUSTOMER SERVICE SUPPORT. while ok, if a customer is in the wrong, u tell her off in private, that’s fine. but he went on and on at it in a public arena, mocking her, teasing her, paying her out, as a customer service officer.
eventually, can’t take it anymore, i wrote in a letter to the few people i know should notice his actions. the mods, the creator of gopets and so on. then i heard he apologise to angel, the girl he was verbally attacking. but in private messaging.
like wow… u slander her in public but don’t want people to see that you have apologised? wtf is that?
so angel and i started talking seriously about this and decided perhaps she should take it up too, and ask for a public apology. this is the email in word format. names and certain stuff have been changed though, to protect them from getting spammed…
now for your info, bja, the customer service personnel, is a fairly “well-liked” guy in the forums. or so it seems. he’s also friends with the aforesaid people that i have emailed to about his actions. so when angel sent off the email, it seems that it wasn’t well received. she wasn’t offered the public apology she asked for, but was instead told that while she is correct in certain aspects, however she isn’t all that perfect either and basically everyone should change their attitude, and he assures her it won’t happen again.
the damage though, is done. she’s hurt (duh…) and no one is buying from her save a few people.
bja has also previously posted his blog’s link, at livejournal, on the forums and added a whole bunch of people as friends, right here. when i swung by to have a look, good lord. he was cussing outrightly with the full email contents of what she sent to his superior.
he has since privatised that entry, but it was up for quite a few hours.
here are the screenies.
to cut the long story short for the disinterested few, a customer service officer wrote on his blog, with company name intact and customer’s full name intact that she is a CUNT.
where i come from, he would have been fired, despite angel just asking for an apology. undermining a customer AND calling her a cunt. geez. last i heard too, people got fired from just discussing about their work on their blog. the thing going for him though, is that he knows them personally, and the guy who hired him isn’t going to let him go just for one customer, unless it builds up.
it makes me curious though. just a simple apology in the public. you have the balls to pay out someone publicly but not apologise publicly? then that’s not much of a gut to swallow is it? it’s great to have a rapport with customers, don’t get me wrong. there’s a line drawn though, between what’s ok and what’s not.
gopets just got less fun for me.. oh wells.. not that there was much to do anyways! going back to kain drama >.>
and talking about kain drama… LMAO…
lmao…
jake and i found a sig yesterday for smoke. we managed to get doren in on the act and produced this:
lmao… so doren was happily helping us and we got a few zillion people to look at it before smoke came on at 4am my time and was like “wtf T_T it was you wasn’t it!!!” LOL…
here’s how it look under his name LOL
poor smoke T_T
Working - Day 08
YES!!!! linxy just left for sydney!!1 woohoooo!!!!! balcony free for me to suntan on, prance naked around… yay….
tomorrow’s my off day too! free day + linxy not around = i can fuck up the apartment!!! yes yes yes!!!
ok, i know i sound retarded. it happens to the best of us.
there’s nothing much to talk about work today really. except i found out something truly astonishing.
Ashley’s car didn’t quite broke down yesterday, as someone suddenly told me. her stupid, retarded screwed up pos brother has been stealing her car, taking his friends on a speed drive around the neighbourhood.
This wouldn’t be much problem if Ashley stays near the city or something. i am guessing that 1) she doesn’t and 2) she needs to work things out with her stupid pos brother. so today, she couldn’t even come to work. poor ashley =/
In singapore, there’s a bus stop every few meters, with buses arriving every few minutes and often, more than one bus goes wherver we really need to go. this was something i often just took for granted, and i am sure most of my friends do too.
i never bothered to learn driving, not back there, not here, though i was supposed to. while some of my friends learnt driving or at least took the basic and advanced theory exams, i did nothing. just uberly reliant on our transport system back home.
here in small, little, lonesome canberra, there’s no real need for many buses nor bus times. most people go to school or work at the same time, and are off on the same days. and generally, most of them have cars too.
yesterday, as everyone has noticed, i had my share of retarded luck. labour day, a public holiday, and on weekends, the buses only come once per hour. once i’ve missed it, i’ve missed it.
late at night, there are less buses, and even more spastic timings. the good part is, i live near work and near the city. the bad part is, there’s only so far my rent would go. once rent ends, and my landlady comes home from england or some far far away land, there are only so many options for me.
obviously if i take a sunday shift, i am dead post 9pm or so. there aren’t anymore buses.
oh wells. whatever!!!
OH. guess who turned up for dinner tonight.
the people who owns flirty gorgeous.
yes that restaurant i frequent the whole of winter. that restaurant that knows me by my chinese first name, right off my eftpos (atm) card. that restaurant that serves me hand and foot when i appear there.
they felt awkward that i was serving them, as i them. we got over it though, and started chatting happily.
Tonight, i managed to start serving more tables, still with Edna, my trainer, by my side though. it was a good thing, since i have a little of a nerves breakdown somewhere into the middle of my introductory speech at each table, and her being there actually soothes my nerves a little.
Often, the main reasons why i get all worried and such, is more because of… say if they order something, they might ask weird questions, “does this come with onions? is it cooked in vegetable oil?”. while it’s great that so far, of the 5 tables or so that i have served, most of them were nice, sweet understanding people who didn’t mind if i stumbled or ask Edna for help.
some even called me sweetie, and others said i was lovely. VERY encouraging customers ^_^ i love them so much.
i am just worried about weird questions after all, and the bad luck of meeting overly demanding customers. “new? so what. ur supposed to know the menu the moment you walk in.” ugh. most importantly, i am not a drinker, thus my knowledge of beers are limited to what i have seen on tv - back in singapore.
i don’t even know wtf was the difference between tap, jugs, cans and bottles. they are all the same to me, just beers in different forms. and now, being in australia, i am often asked, “what beers you have on tap?” by customers. can you imagine how unnerving it is?
and wtf is a slider anyways -.-
Work peeps have been very encouraging though. Edna said not to worry about beers. she herself, though australian, doesn’t take alcohol either, and it took her 6 months to remember the beers, cocktails, mocktails, wines and what not too. so it’s perfectly fine, as it is fine to err, it is ok to forget shit.
they don’t really care much about my mistakes as long as they aren’t massive mistakes, like screaming at the customers or trying to kill our chefs. after all, it is human to err.
so let me tell you a secret, that i have been feeling really bad about.
you know those small little cups they use to contain the pepper, mushroom and diane sauces?
alot of customers have a tendency to eat like pigs and then strew their excess meat, vegies and all that all over the plate, including right over the top of the cups. they are often hidden, sometimes hard to see, but you can feel them if the plate isn’t ridiculously heaped upon, coz the aren’t exactly light.
i have been throwing them away into the bin along with the excesses by customers. and no, they aren’t disposables :X i just never notice them till it’s too late.
Working - day 07
Ah. first time i turned up real late for work today. stupid labour day bullshit. bus only comes @ the times that they come on sunday. grr…
but no one really minded, which was cool. not too much people, except that we had a huge booking from a sporting group. so had massive orders to run out. the great part is, my trainer has started the waitressing bits that she has to teach me. i managed to wait one table before things started falling apart as Carl was sick and so was asked to do bar instead, and Ashley’s car was still in repair, so she had to turn up an hour late (oooo my 20 mins seems nothing now muahahahaha…)
What makes me LOVE this job though:
the KIDS:
- pair of twins, 5 year old boys
T1 - “excuse me…”
me- “yes?”
T1 - “my mummy says that steaks are made from cows… can i see the cows in your kitchen?”
me - “uh…”
T2 - “yer! and why doesn’t the steaks moo?”
me - …….
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-a 17 months old baby grabbed my rings finger on the right, and won’t let me go with a huge grin on her cute face, and then giving her mum the serious “can i keep this!!!?!?!?!” face.
not that i couldn’t push her away, but seriously, awwww, would u do that? she is SSSSOOOO cute LOL…
all pink, blonde and blue eyed (yes, i have a weakness for any little blonde kids. i am the ultimate bimbo..)
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- another 16 or 18 months old baby, kept smiling when i walk near her.
“may i clear your plates ma’am?” i asked the table, and they proceeded to pass me their plates.
then the baby, lifted up her tiny plate with half finished burger. “da!”
O.o “are you sure sweetie?” i asked.
“DA!!!” and she looked at her baby chair’s “table” thingy and started swiping hard at it to clear away the bits and pieces.
“i’m sorry, lol,” the dad started, “she’s fairly domesticated!”
LMAO
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- some pink swaddled little thing, probably between 1-2 years old.
mum - “she hates corn… can you ask the kitchen to switch to carrots or something?”
before i can take it away… the little cutesy thing grabbed the corn and threw it at me. woah….
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- this doesn’t quite belong in the kids section, but they say old people can be similar to kids, and have to admit, this particular granny behaved that way.
she’s like in her 50s-60s. ordered a banana split with strawberry. when the ice cream arrived, before i can lay down her friend’s banana split, she was grasping tightly to hers which was still held in my hand. her mouth was wide open, and just glaring at it like a famished person.
except she just had some real good steak.
i finally let go of the split, when it hit the table . i really REALLY didn’t want it flying in her face.
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- another one that doesn’t quite belong in any category i can think of.
a couple came in, middle age, well dressed, serious faced. they didn’t quite order much food, and sat chatting half the time. i was often worried that they had be pissed at me, but i truly had nothing to do but to clear tables again and again and again.
then they wanted their bill. and i brought it, and he paid cash. so i asked if he wanted his change back, since some people have a tendency to just push the bill back towards me and just leave. it’s not a bad thing to leave tips, it’s just hard to know if you want me to bring the change back, keep it as tips or if you are just going to the restroom and you are coming back for the money.
i don’t wana be known as a thief for, say, 50 cents. that’s just retarded.
he said he wanted it back. so off i went, had Lena watch me key in the money and stuff in case i fucked up. and brought it back.
he opened it up, and took out the cash from the folder, “this is actually for you” and left.
T_T thanks sir… that was a really nice gesture, no matter the amount.
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of course, one can never truly ignore the money bit that comes with the job. while a job, is still a bore, it is the people i come in contact with that truly inspires me and motivates me.
yes it’s just a damn lowbie waitressing job. i probably won’t go anywhere far in life in such a job, nor be something influential. and it is just a part time job. it is HOW i treat this job though, that makes the difference.
Working - Day 06
I must admit, i am still not used to the idea that i am back into the working lifestyle. and one that involves part-time working and full-time studying too. i tire out easy, and never have enough rest it seems, especially since my body thinks i am joking -.-
it is tempting to go “i don’t want to work today!” call in with some stupid crap and then laze around whole day. sadly, i don’t have that kind of luxury.
before i continue on though, i must announce this one…. shame (!?!?) of mine. i never quite like to eat at the place i work coz of some ethical and etiquette issue that i had with it. i just think it’s wrong to ask your colleagues to serve you on your off days, or your boss, or whoever. and then just sit there and enjoy while they potter around. i am just… a dumbass, don’t mind me.
so the idea of eating before work often scares me. so far i have only went back to eat at work once in my new job. it’s a good way to save money anyways. however, for these past 2 nights that i have worked suddenly, linxy asked for some steaks. and so i have been asking them to be taken away.
Don came up to me just now, and kind of warned me in a nice way that i am actually not allowed to do that. so tonight would be the last time i am packing home steak and it’s not even for me. oh wells. just pretty embarassing though when he came and tell me not to do it again that’s all.
tonight, another girl quit. that’s a total of 2 girls who quit now, in a space of 2 days. it wasn’t a sudden thing though, the restaurant was warned 2 weeks before Anna quit since she was an old staff. it’s just kinda sad that they are leaving once i started to get to know them.
Anna’s reason though, was pretty strange. on the one hand, she said it’s coz she stays too far from work. she stays within uni, which is like 20 mins slow walk from work. Her other reason that i heard her tell someone else was pretty understandable though.
it was the same reason as Diana’s.
Uni’s workload is increasing. she’s holding another job. she worked 15 hours yesterday, and 12 the day before. by the time she hits the restaurant itself, she was often tired out from work and unable to fully be there anyways. it is now week 10 in uni, in 2 weeks she has exams, yet she isn’t prepared and neither has she studied much other than just being physically in her classes.
the thing is, she isn’t alone.
Diana too, holds 2 jobs. with my company, she would have been holding 3 jobs had she not quit. she made the smart move though to quit, even though she was new and had at the most 6 days of work. she picked the better paying 2 jobs out of 3 to stay.
through out Australia, there are students all over that are like that. they hold 2-3 jobs just so that they can afford their personal life from uni, afford uni and many other uni related stuff. it is not easy being a student. alot of people have a tendency to say, ooo, asian students are more mature, they are more independent, etc etc.
since i arrived though, i would like to say, that’s not totally true. most Australian friends i know, start paying for their lives by the time they start working part time. this can be anywhere from 14 - 16. by the time they hit uni, they are carrying 2 jobs and trying to stay with uni and be active with everything. Anna, for example, is a sports rep.
Independence… also comes from learning to be financially independent. Maturity, is also learning how to balance your life out despite how hectic the timetable is. while i am not saying that asians sucks, because i know some of my friends do work while studying, i am saying, we should not jump to conclusions so quickly anymore.
i mean, before i came, everyone’s telling me “Australians are lazy.”. my defense is, they know how to relax when they have to. they work as hard as everyone. 2-3 jobs while studying as well, it’s no mean feat. and it’s sad that they are doing that so that they can have an education.
Because, as i believe, while their education do benefit them financially, it also benefits the society from their skilled knowledge. not saying that education should be totally free either. but for uni’s that say they are just working on the bare minimum and not earning much profits, how is it that they are profiteering on say… just internet charges alone?
somethings can ease up the tough life of being a student, and make it less scary to try and step out of being a kid and step into the limelight as a responsible adult.
Tonight’s also the footy final. there were less customers than on fridays and saturdays, altho it is natural since it IS a sunday. whoever came though, sat through most of the final, hooting, wooting and whistling at every goal. the kitchen was cheering loudly at every single goal that the majority bet on.
yes… there were some betting between them in the kitchen 
it was funny, how they wrote a list of who bet for what, and then you see everyone cheering shouting and going urgh into each other’s face. tired as i was, spaced out as i was, that always make me laugh though.
grown man acting like little kids.
wait… even the most attentive kid was quiet :X
oh. and… from what i can see, john howard is a short man.
Working - Day 05
There were shouts behind me, as i stood by the lamp post. “Just GO AWAY! GO AWAY! FUCK OFF!” screams a woman, her speech semi slurred by her drunkedness, semi slurred by her voice which obviously was not used to screaming at the top of the voice.
11 p.m, and i am out on the streets, waiting for linxy to pick me up. Feet aching, mouth dry, body aching… oh what a day, and what a night.
For reasons unknown even to to me, i woke at six this morning, not totally refreshed, not very tired either. From there, i was going to bum till monday, since that is when i officially does have work, as according to my roster. so i was just playing lineage 2.. gaming, reading books. boring stuff that i normally do each day, so that i don’t spend as much money as compared to if i do go out.
The tendency to spend as i window shop.. is terribly high.
“meow!….” went my phone at 4.15pm… it was Don, my night manager. “hey Cheryl, how are ya?”
“Good good, bumming around, what’s up?”
“you think you can work tonight?”
*money flashes all across the eye* “sure why not? what time do you want me in by?”
“how’s 6 to you?”
“awesome, see you then.”
“sure”
and just like that, i broke the perfect party up, with my potential “e-husband” for Chronicle 4, and just went for work.
Upon reaching, i can see why they needed me. Saturday, busy night, lotsa customers, yet Josie, one of the regular girls, called in sick. with one trainee and 5 girls, it just wasn’t enough. they even pulled a kitchen staff out to work with us, helping us tick off the food and giving us the table number.
2 trainees to clean up and man the food running, 5 to take orders, not a bad thing.
except, a few days ago, during a chance overhearing, i know Wan was inviting Josie to her birthday party. which was… today. and while we are “part-timers” if we are sick, we are still entitled to our salary, under sick pay. of course, if we aren’t rostered, we aren’t paid.
Guess what happened. 
except, i won’t tell anyone about it, because it is just retarded to talk about such things. besides, i have no proof. i am not one to tell on my colleagues anyways, also, coz i am likely to do it myself just coz i need the break from work every now and then, but i still need the money.
Years ago, i was working with a call centre. it was a job that started out initially farely fun. people were nice, people were fun to be with and i enjoyed it immensely. we had great relationships with our superiors, and no matter how boring the call centre may be, the superiors had try to make it less of a bore.
Behind every pretty scene though, there are cracks, and there are the bitches. It is so in most workplaces, it is just how one deals with it that makes the difference. i chose ignorance. however, as time goes by, it can get terribly lonesome and a huge task to even bring myself to work.
Boring work and bitchy colleagues weren’t a good equation for a conducive and encouraging work environment. and i am not one to push myself. by the second month at work, i started coming up with all kinds of illness not to turn up on fridays. it was fairly obvious, and they didn’t like it. However, with official documentation, all they could do is just hint at my lack of enthusiasm and get upset about it.
After all, in my opinion, why push yourself to be what you are not? that was, anyways, a part time job that i knew was not going to last. at that time, i was preparing to work for something else instead. something that pays me better, and loves me better.
I am not saying that the job and company i am in now is bad, mean and cruel. the truth is, food and beverage is a tough industry. every job is, but i believe that food and beverage itself is tough just on the physical side alone. At the end of each work day, for me, i am drained. i want to hit the sack and permnanently stay there. It’s not something i intend to do for the rest of my life.
For all the pay though, i am willing to take on this burden now. just so that i can pass through this hurdle. Despite all the crap the little babies give me, throwing vegetables at me for fun and what not, this will come to pass.
i am not judging josie, rather, i know i would probably do the same thing as she did too. it’s a tough life being a waitress.
have fun josie, i know i would.
