Category Archives: Work

Karmic Cycle

Karmic Cycle

The last week and a bit has been a whirlwind of happiness, a coming of a full circle, some massive amounts of physical pain, lots of pleasure and I cannot add in whatever more else. Life, of course, has been quite a full one in the past week.

First off, my whole residency appeal – I played a gamble in going without a migration agent (not really a choice either, at any rate), therefore without plenty of legal advice, and won. I really won’t suggest anyone to do the same thing, it was a most stressful 4 weeks leading up to that, and I definitely hope I won’t have to go through that again.

The judge/member (as they call themselves, but don’t be fooled), was a very pleasant guy who also made the whole affair quite casual so it was a lot easier on me to think through what I have to say and not to make any legal boo-boos. of course, in my writing to the judge, I will give it that I gave a very casual approach as well, leading to very casual use of colloquial terms.

All in all, I had say, never again, even if it worked to my advantage.

I received the letter he promised today, which was a write up of the facts of the proceedings. Amongst it was something I… pretty much expected but was still somewhat enraged to see. My wonderfully inept and useless ex boss? He dobbed me in to say that someone pretty much forged the forms I asked him to sign and that he has doubts about our relationship etc etc because we don’t seem to know each other very well.

Funny that, he was the one who offered us a deposit on our current home. Not to mention, we both have been under his employment for the same length of time. Even if we were together, that’s a damn long time to not know each other.

In Chinese, we have this word ?, which can be translated to many things… One of which is being “vengeful” or “determined”. As my dad said, he’s goddamn ? lor… Then again, my dad believes that we should always leave everyone a “backdoor” out of every situation, never to “burn any bridges” so to speak.

That he was determined to hurt both of us in such a manner and caused us so much grief in over the last couple of year (I will just blame the year of the Tiger for last year, really), while expecting it (I even told immigration that it would happen, but they won’t believe me), I was still vaguely enraged yet amused.

?… Did he think that being so ? and completely vengeful, nothing will come back and bite him? Funny that 2 years later, he was the one crawling to Waife, hoping to get Waife to come help since everyone had abandoned him. Waife ignored him, of course. At the end of the day, he sold the business at a loss, he lost everyone who was loyal and supportive of him, and all of it was his doing. Considering how much he hated Canberra, and how long it finally took for him to sell that business (about 3 years, so to speak), I had say Karma came and bite him in the ass.

Yes it did create a bunch of problems… simply because the left hand was not talking to the right hand. I mentioned to immi about possible issues leading from an idiotic Mr McFarlane who might commit perjury just to get at me, but the lady at immi didn’t believe me and would not take in the materials suggesting that he has ulterior motives. the whole conversation was meant to at least be documented but nothing was mentioned. Which resulted in me needing to explain myself (guilty before proven otherwise in such situations) before a judge.

Do you know what perjury is, Mr McFarlane? it’s called lying before officials therefore obstructing and costing them time and wasted resources (i.e. your tax money) on important matters. idiot.

Anyways, secondly!! I WENT TO MELBOURNE!! woohoo! holiday away from Canberra. I haven’t gone to Melbourne for ages, and most people should know by now Melbourne > Sydney for me. So, this was a welcomed time away! I won’t bore you with what I did there, except that it was at least fun, and I saw, for free!, the blackened imitation of Tutankhamun’s corpse! and lots of pectoral jewellery! and fishes! <3

The Moon hanging over the cliffshur hur hur

sleeping Koalaaxolotl

LOOK AT ME!!!

On the way to Philip islandVictoria museum is awesome!!

I also got myself an old school polaroid SX 70 The Button (which is about as old as me LOLOLOL) as well as some Impossible Project Film – but of course, my inability to read manuals before using something caused a lot of fails… may I present, big fail:

Polaroid

It still look arty from some angles, but hey, I kinda prefer to see a little more shapes to that!

In all other news, since my residency is more or less resolved, I am going “back” to sort out more paperwork, specifically that of my Singapore IC (green card, ID, whateverthefuck) which I very nicely lost last year. I am sure enough of you have heard by now, but to gain citizenship here (achievable within the next 18 months or less, so it was suggested), I need my IC so I can bloody surrender it.

Therefore I am going home to get a new IC so I can bin it. hahaha, so dumb right? oh wells.

I won’t be home for very long, however, I don’t have much leave and would personally prefer to see/help Japan rather than stay in SG and get severely mocked and harassed by my mother (aiya, you all know the story la). And, I do want to see a lot of you, which I have damn promised left and right in the past 3-4 years hahaha.

So, if we can, can we kind of plan this thing properly so I do see all of you? :) please send me emails/message me on facebook/whatsapp/however you want to communicate so we can do a good and proper meetup/farewell (maybe I will get banned from coming back to Singapore for 3 years after I quit being singaporean hahahahaha because I said I don’t want to be in the same citizenship as TPL hahahaha).

AND AND AND, MAYBE!! JUST MAYBE! I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT COMICON!! maybe not this year, next? BUT COMICON!!! <3

Current Mood: (accomplished) accomplished
Current Music: Written in the Stars
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the craziness

the craziness

To be honest, I have been meaning to update everyone for a long time, regardless of whether this was up or not.

The issue was, WHAT WITH?

I had colleagues that were terrible, I have plenty to have a cry about, but something happened a while back that left a bad taste in my mouth. to put it simply, it was just idiots. Idiots who decided it was ok to gossip, and then there were the idiots who thought it would be funny to see things go down. Either ways, things went down and while I was not entirely in the right, I definitely didn’t deserved to be treated in a certain way either.

some of you might remember. I had an issue with a certain colleague, who had once asked to be friends on facebook. as you all know, this cross-posts to facebook :) as I was the one who initiated that request on facebook itself (she asked, I initiated), she could view whatever she wanted on my profile and so on. not to mention she had friends who were on my friendslist.

I think some of you can see where this was heading, you might go “oh geez Ani, you’re so stupid!” At that point in time, not only was I so stupid, I was careless, angry and hurt. I believe I am a hard worker, or I try to. For me to be slighted and treated that way that night was beyond my comprehension, nevermind that the perpetrator decided that I had to accept her apology because she was cornering me, shouting at me AND RANKED HIGHER THAN ME. So, obviously I didn’t, and she decided to report me for insubordination plus invasion of privacy because I posted up the incident, nevermind that I didn’t even name her (I am glad she recognised that she was the bitch).

It is funny that throughout the rest of my stay at that place, whenever something happened, instead of referring to the incident that I refused to accept her apology for, she referred to it as the “facebook incident”.

It’s been nearly a year since the incident, but I have been unable to update people through this channel mostly because I hated being forced to remove that post. I could have kept it out of sight of course, and facebook was not to be blamed for my carelessness, and she would have never known. but I didn’t. At that time, it felt like she has intruded in to a part of my life and demanded something equivalent of not letting my friends know how badly treated I was. I don’t know if she realises it. She tried so hard to be friends later on, but did she know it was simply not possible?

and then, there is this thing about privacy with regards to the people I look after. There has been many things, not colleagues related, that has happened ever since that I can not discuss simply because I respect the people I look after. These are not the incoherent bastards who frequent restaurants, just absolutely beautiful people that I look after.

There are things I would like to discuss though, and it is in somewhat relation to the care of the people and my life and how they have been intertwined… The important bit to take away from this post is that my job allowed me to be able to be very reflective and has allowed me to move on in many sense of the word. I can only be thankful, although I see a potential for disaster if I should ever have to stop working in this line or retire (ahem)

- In the past 10 years, I have gone from someone who was excited about life and planned far far ahead, socialised to the nth degree, to someone who is almost a recluse at times. The only similarity is, I am still crazy, perhaps more so.

- I think I have made peace with some of my inner turmoil, although I will never be able to walk away from that grief. The peace is, obviously, the management of that grief.

- I can’t believe I am doing nursing now. At 17 I considered it. If I had gone down that path, I would probably have been an RN for the last 9 years or so, making an “old-hand” in this trade. Yet, I didn’t because of misguided notions and words relayed to me. This will teach me to judge people based on what their parents tell me. I can never really make up for that lost time, yet I am sure that my life experiences in the last 9 years is going to make itself count in the future.

- I am still a bloody spendthrift.

- you know, letting myself go be and do what I want to do was the best decision my dad and I have ever made for myself. of course, he just didn’t know to what extent that has really been. yet, I can tell you too, if you tell him now how crazy I am, the things I have done and the friends I have made, he would also be the least surprised of the people who has ever known me.

my mum will be the utter extreme end of that spectrum though.

- in the past 3 years, I have changed employers so often, it was scary. I hated change, especially a change of jobs and environment. It is not as often as people thought, nor is it as often as I am making it sound. certainly enough. Yet, I can only say I certainly went from strength to strength, from mundane existence to something I am enjoying.

In the last year, I have injured my wrist helping someone; been forced to take light duties for the first time in my life ever; saw things I shouldn’t even hear about much less see; tried to fight against a system that is incredibly flawed, and lost, for people who are not me; stood up for people when I see them beaten down; threaten people with the law, even though I hated doing that, because they were doing all the wrong “things” and saw SOME changes; then I found a new job because I “knew someone who knew someone who knew someone”, which was a very odd and awkward feeling; was told 10 times over I am good at the work I was doing; I got a job for 3 days and then walked out on it for better pay *hurl* never doing that again…

- I have read more books, watched more movies, danced more, socialised more, saw more concerts, played more games (but in moderate “packages”), researched more in the last year than I have ever done in the last 5 years. So, if you ever wonder why I am so socially awkward whenever you hung out with me in the last year, well, you have your answer here – I honestly don’t know how to socialise properly anymore I think. of course, I will still be uber protective *ahem* when necessary.

- made some friends, lost some friends (and one on purpose), maintained some and annoyed some.

- gained so much weight yet I have never been happier or more satisfied. Oh, I have my days, but those are definitely an insignificant amount

- kept my cool under circumstances that I later on rave about. It’s really odd.

So.. 29… one more year to 30. I don’t think I am like to behave much differently though. bloody hell, seeing it typed up sure looks weird!

Current Mood: (calm) calm
Current Music: Eminem & Rihanna - Love the way you lie
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Revolving doors

Revolving doors

I was running, all excited, through the sterile white hallways when a guerney turned a corner into me, a shapeless form underneath a sterile white sheet. There was no movement, it was all quiet and sombre. I slowed down, excitement dampened. I have seen death, but it does not make every experience any easier. I watched it fly past me as I turned into the next flight of stairs.

Up the stairs and through the doors I went, hoping that I have not missed anything I was allocated for, then I had to quickly flattened myself against the wall. A premmie baby was coming through, it was no bigger than my two palms, with all kinds of cannulas and wires coming out of it, completely swamped with a piece of material that looks too big for it. It was all pink and squishy looking.

it was alive and in this incubation thing. it caught my breath.

I haven’t seen new life yet, and this was… kinda cool.

I made it through the curtains, checked the charts and made some beds. And that’s when I heard it.

Sharp, painful gasps. I had a quick look but did not know what to do.

“can you go look please? I have no experience in any form of medical emergencies.” I asked one of the nurses there. I was worried someone was going into a respiratory arrest.

She was sobbing her heart out – they just cleaned out the remnants of what was meant to be her baby, but never became hers. She was “ok”, but about as “ok” as someone who has had a miscarriage could get.

Before I knew it, they waved me out for my own lunch time. Through the curtains I go and through those heavy doors. Running straight at my legs were 2 little boys, their mother ahead of me with a squishy, healthy looking newborn in her hands.

Life and death, they go hand in hand. it is utterly amazing.

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