Dear Parents,

hi, my sister is 21, and can barely talk/type full sentences. I do love and care for her, but it does not extend to DOING HER HOMEWORK for her. As I have mentioned before, Dad, the reason why I stopped writing full blown essays for your school work as well is that if there’s any one point in time you (or my sister in this case) goes out to work in the new job that your certificate brings you to, you won’t be able to hold fort. I won’t be there 24 7 in your jobs to help you for the rest of your life.

Not to mention, anyone who has met my sister would know her language capacity. Suddenly being able to produce work of… a different capacity is not only going to show the vast disparity between her abilities and mine, but is most likely to result in her failing. and, if I am correct, the essays will only hold a 20% of her final assessment. SHE WILL NOT PASS.

you cannot force someone who is unable to do something to do something. You cannot make her fulfil your failed dreams, or even just dreams. you have to firstly face it, and then plan her life as she CAN. you cannot plan for her failure. besides her inabilities, you have consistently BATTERED her ego and setting her up for failure.

this is not only wasting money and precious time that she does not have, but also hurting her in the long run. it is NOT funny.

Not only have you, as parents, failed to use the knowledge you now know to help her, you are STILL setting her up for failure because you REFUSE to see reason and just think that TIME can cure it. sorry, but TIME hasn’t CURED it, but time WILL slip away and soon you will have worse problems to consider. infact, by walking the path you just decided, you have already let everything slipped.

you are a bunch of morons and now I don’t know where to start to help her in the future.

*exasperated*

oh and btw mother? this is beyond stupid. oh yes, don’t argue. I can see you now, telling my sister what a great manager she would be, how she’s smart now and would be able to support dad and you when she graduates and become a bank/finance/wtfever manager.

I would hate to see the 5 grand go down the drain, but I wonder how you would look when you see that big failure happen.

and don’t anyone dare lecture me on “they are your parents, respect them and blah” because I have more than given my dues.

zomg, 3 weeks of no blogging? Like I said though, life is very very not so interesting. well from certain angles anyways. here’s what I have been doing to occupy my time though:

Aion is coming up well, I joined the rat race to pre-order it real late. previous purchases have all quite a huge let down. everyone’s all split up again, i am going to go by vote who, and how many whos are there on each server.

Farmville @ Facebook. eh, why not. nothing much else interests me. and wow kinda no longer does it for me. it is all fun and all still, but doing the same shit every week, every day, having the same problems with people and the game every single day… it wore out.

and real life is more interesting :p

Ah, Mafia wars. much like me playing mob wars on myspace, whilst i can barely defend myself, i go on a griefing trip. I know, it’s terrible to do that, and especially if the poor victim can’t swear their heads off on your profile. but oh god, it’s fun to hear their cries.

Of course, I usually pick on the… annoying ones. who the hell would name their… gangster alter ego “cuppycakes”?!?! it’s such a cry for attention /throw knives!!

oh and flowers <3

I know I don’t communicate much elsewhere anymore but facebook. I think what I was trying to achieve, and ended up not doing so well, was to avoid having someone run through my things. I don’t have qualms about people chancing upon my diary entries, photos, twitter, what gives you. What I didn’t like was a possibility of someone USING MY OWN COMPUTER to log into all those accounts, reading through private conversations, photographs, emails and etc.

That is just not on.

The worse thing is, sometimes, people draw stupid conclusions with such intrusion, without so much as asking me the vitals (where what why who and how). Assumptions doesn’t just mean rumours, it’s also what you make of things that is infront of you.

so nowadays, I log out of things, i wipe my entire history and no longer save passwords. for someone with multiple networking accounts and incredulous amount of (differing) passwords, that meant that some passwords are lost, and some websites are forgotten. To all those who care, my apologies. I have passworded my laptop ever since, but I still need to carry this around with me every now and then, and I can’t be sure that my privacy and others can be intact.

In the long run, I guess this is in everyone’s best interest.

Besides all that, I have just been a real boring worker ENJOY!~ more photos soon

By now, death is certainly something I should get accustomed to. After all, everyone ends on the same note. How everyone ends though, is quite something else altogether. It still makes me sad, makes me worried or makes me wish for something else entirely different on that spectrum.

When people come into homes, and they still have their partners, they sometimes move in together with their partners. This depend on how well they can look after themselves, for the most part. Most that do move in together have some sort of dependency on having others around them.

In room 27, there was this very beautiful couple. Whenever the wife needed something, the husband had get up and totter over to the nursing station to ask us for that favour. Similarly, she had watch over him during the times when he was too ill to talk to us, such as telling us what he could possibly like to wear.

Both of them have their own medical problems, of which the woman exhibited more of it physically speaking. It was painful to see her being in so much pain sometimes, even from just turning her on to her side – something I know I took for granted on a daily basis as I tunnel and funnel in my blankets. She could barely explain her pain to us as both her partner and her speaks mostly portuguese, and she slips in and out of confusion on a daily basis.

About 2 weeks ago, the husband ended up in hospital due to a fractured hip. This is not uncommon in the elderly, especially those with mobility problems. What became a problem was how she slipped further after he was gone into the hospital. As it was, her health was going downhill, but with him gone, it became worse. A week after he left for the hospital, they had to use a machine to drain the mucous from her lungs.

“she isn’t going to be long now,” the supervising nurse said to me.

I kind of groped around my bag for the book of prayers I have been carrying with me ever since the last death. and then, I stopped. I sauntered over to her room, and gently wiped her clammy face. “hang on for a little while longer, Rose, just hang on. Let Bill see you for one last time before you go.” I begged her quietly. It technically has nothing to do with me, how much she can hold on or whether he sees her or not. I just put myself in their shoes, and I think if it was my baby on that bed, I don’t want to not be with her for the last time.

Neither did I know when he would even be able to make it back too.

Regardless of what I asked of her, I decided to make up a prayer for her anyways and kissed her forehead.

She died 8 hours later, in the wee hours of the morning. and he, after hearing the news from their children, another 4 days later.

In a very dark way, it was all for the best. By all accounts, they were very close and devoted to each other. That one should live without the other felt like a needless cruelty. In their living, they have crossed many bridges of problems, solutions, happiness and bitterness – it is only right that they should depart in togetherness – the way a relationship should work.