for the dense and weird ones, i am home. contrary to what i wish i could have done, i arrived at 4 a.m, dead tired from the incessant screaming of babies on the plane, particularly from the one little girl behind me whose parents decided that their ignorance of their kids would be the best way to cure the screamings (didn’t work). took the first cab i could get (who ripped me off by 5 dollars) and reached home in, drenched full of perspiration from the humidity.

 

oh, did i mention that the moment i landed, and the doors opened, my nose exploded into a pile of blood?

 

on the way home, the uncle in the cab tried to make some small talk. i think he’s not used to having people sit at the passenger seat next to him, and so he asked me many questions. as for me, i had as many questions.

 

when i left, terminal 3 was still in the making. so, when i saw some slight difference in the glass building on my left, i turned and asked the driver if that was terminal 3. bemused, his answer was, “no”, he pointed right, “that’s terminal 3. first time in singapore?”

 

*sigh* no sir, no.

 

i think the biggest horror for me lied just behind the doors of my own apartment. upon opening the doors, i saw what seemed like my sister in men’s clothes on the floor. now, my dad have often told me over the phone how much weight he has lost through “exercising” and bragged about how everyone were so shocked by it.

 

i can see why they were shock. he looks like an anorexic.

 

there’s my dad, the once healthy person, who was middle sized, now just a pack of bones with some skin hanging off him. it’s scary. i don’t know if i should cry or what. when the shops opened, i immediately grabbed him some wanton noodles. but he ate half a pack before claiming he’s full, and won’t eat lunch or dinner.

 

i have lots of work to do.

 

i unpacked some souveneirs, and rushed to shower. i was already getting all sticky and clammy from the amount of perspiration. then i headed to bed.

 

then from my left side, came the voice that’s mum’s, “have you got paid yet? if you have some money, give me some.”

 

not so much as a hi, not so much as a “how are you?” after these 2-3 years, it’s just… more money. i gave her a curt reply, “don’t you have better things to ask?” and turned over to sleep.

 

morning came too quickly. i was unused to the thinned mattress, weird pillows, tiny and empty bed. then came a knock at the door. it was a creditor – my mum haven’t been paying the bills for mortgage since 2000. awesome. *sigh*

 

so i left, walking around trying to organise my life for the temporary stay. i was not prepared to come home at all, so i had to run around and find converters, get a feel of things, find the right buses – and acclimatised my body to the damn weather.

 

there’s a new MRT line now, there seems to be more people than i remembered, and more cars (then again, i have been in canberra, so whatever i remembered might be… biased). everyone’s holding some form of smart phone or another, and there’s laptops all around.

 

all these are so so strange to me.

 

i met up with some friends here and there, and finally got around to the embassy today to sniff out the situation. from the basic attitudes, the atmosphere and so on, the news doesn’t look good. i might not be able to go back after all. my whole fate depends on the decision of one man, whose staffs are all curt, impolite, scary and full of shit.

 

maybe i shouldn’t judge a person before meeting him – but i never will be able to meet him, and all i can see is the people out there representing the department. with a sign that says, “people are our business” and yet no one smiles, or ask, “how’s it going?” or even just speaks gently and slowly, my chances don’t look good.

 

i am so scared.

i am flying TOMORROW. i got a call that went something like, “hi, i changed your flight. you are now flying gulf air. and it’s at 10. check your email and reply Wei wei back if you have got the new itinerary on the phone, by 7 tonight.”

then, another call, of which i actually picked up, “so, did you receive the email? you should reply the email back instantly.”

then a text message, “if you have too much time to spare between flight and your arrival to sydney, come to my place and stay”

then, another call, “i will be working anyways, stay at the airport, it’s cheaper, and have your meals there. we will not be seeing you off.”

then, yet another voicemail, “LIHUAN, YOUR VOICEMAIL GREETING IS TOO LONG! CALL ME BACK!”

then a call, “cancel your voicemail, i don’t believe they don’t charge you for this service. it must be over a few hundred dollars by now. save that money. you spend too much. and you waste my money too, be considerate for others.”

then… YET another call, “what did you buy for your parents?”

woman! call me once, leave a proper message, i will call back if need be. please don’t phone spam me, change my flight as you wish, or dictate how i should live my life. i have been fine for the most part, until you came along. i think i will be fine without you too. *scratches self*

anyways, for the rest of you, i promise you this much: while i am back there for official reasons, i will also be going on mini trips to visit my relatives (because asian cultures dictates me as much, and also because i actually do miss the non-insane side of my family). so, there will be lots of introduction to my side of the world, plus some extras – dad kinda promised to bring me to visit some of my other (that i don’t talk about) relatives – the orang lauts (fishermen). they live at the sea, on stilts and what not. i am terribly fascinated with their toilets, and i think you would be too (it’s a hole in the planks, and you pee on to the fishes… then you fish them up the next day without realising they have been swiming in your pee…).

however, all that craziness will probably only occur if i know for sure i am coming back to Australia, if i don’t then i will be looking for a job. wish me luck, babies, and for you singaporeans, i will see you on sunday (if my flight doesn’t change yet again).

also, now it seems i will be in sydney for a good 10 hours. beyond shopping (which i am too broke for), reading and going spastic – as well as shower in their public shower – i have no other clue what to do. it’s too hot to suggest sight seeing – so don’t.

there’s a widget to the left of this website now (it’s on a link on my livejournal profile for those viewing from livejournal) which i might update every 5 minutes since i am sure to be bored stiffy… watch that space!!!!!