Ok, mind’s clearer now. Here’s a few things I need to say though:

This blog links right straight into my facebook. I think most people who are on my facebook knows that bit. What I don’t think many realises is I am quite easy with the “confirm friends” button. If I think I know you, if I think there’s a chance you are not an immature and decidedly stupid twat, you are normally added. That is usually everyone. Every once in a while, I might be wrong, but so far, I think with 3 years? maybe more? on facebook, I have had to only delete 4 people.

I mean, it’s just bloody facebook. It’s not very private, and I am not a very private person save for a few precious things – and they won’t be mentioned much on the internet for that reason. However, facebook also means I don’t have to tolerate people that I don’t want to. why put myself in that situation when there’s plenty of assholes I HAVE to face with out there?

Again, though, not many people realises that we do have CHOICES that, again, we can choose to swing it or not. This is not a warning though, this is the reality. When friendship/acknowledgement relies on the internet to work, I can also sure as hell block you out with the internet if neither of us are really important to each other anyways.

So to all who is eventually reading this on facebook, if there ever comes a point in time that I delete you, it’s not you it’s me. I have just decided to exercise my right to not be tolerant of stupid behaviours, or we don’t even communicate much to register much on the friends radar

Besides that, some of you were friends since primary/secondary/institute/university times. Not everyone is going to get along, and definitely I was never a popular one either. I would like to think we have all matured over time and life experiences, but it might not necessarily be so. Even then, I hope we can give constructive criticism to each other should we ever communicate, and not just feel a random need to be noticed. All I can offer is Civility, and hope that you can offer that too.

Now on track with a bunch of other things that I feel a need to mention since obviously some people felt a need to bring up:

I have been in Australia since 2003. I have had more ups and downs in the last 6 years than I really had in my 21 years in Singapore. I understood more, I experienced more, I have lost friends, I have had alot of tears, and then I gain friends and families. I have experienced deaths that paralysed me, I have had experiences where I teared for being useless, and then made full use of my escapism skills to runaway from my problems.

In essence, Singapore was a testing ground and Australia is when I eventually grew up and grew into my own. THIS is home. Therefore, if I leave now, and let them make me leave, I will be losing everything that I have known and grew familiar with. Sure, I still have friends back in Singapore. But, I have more friends here than in Singapore. I have more “family” here. So, I can not go quietly into the night, without a fight.

I will not deny that I have fucked up royally though, and if there is a need to, then I will head back for 3 years, get my R.Ns, and come straight back. Because, I will be damn if anything gets me away from my home and my “babies”.

Is there a way to fix this now? definitely. I just need a shitload of money I don’t know where it is going to come from short of stripping and making a porno. or something along those lines. somewhere to the tune of 4400 to start with.

Yes, it’s a “start”.

So where did things go wrong?
1) not enough evidence of relationship
2) I had a nonchalent case officer who is, more often than not, MIA and hard to reach
3) Withdrawal of a testimonial that was one of the first/strongest testimonial of our relationship

How to fix it? So far only a few ideas:
1) Marriage (straight off into another visa, buh bye)
2) Appeals ($1400)
3) run off into the mountains and hide
4) ministerial appeal (quite far fetch and hard but)
5) Migration Agent ($3000, thus the 4400 theory)
6) Marry a kangaroo.

notice how just about any of the above options need money though. how?!?! /wrist.

ok, to be continued.