Taking a hike
I went on a photographing walk yesterday around lake ginninderra (or some long winded name like that). it became an almost worthless trip anyways, because at the most important point of that photographing walk, a couple walked into my corner. they started snuggling around and whipped their heads around when they heard me walking around while i was taking picts.
needless to say, we both look awkwardly at each other, and the air became real tense. i bowed out, and left them to make out there.
granted, that is the best make out spot ever, but still… 
i think what surprised me was not the pictures i took (83 in total), but the quality of them. they were generally awesome, UNTIL the kangaroos appeared. the kangaroos were on campus, and ffs, it grew so dark so quickly, that despite no matter how much i tried to take picts of them, nothing showed up. =/ or well, they are blurred images.
and here’s the best pict of the lot, in my opinion…
it’s not very obvious from this pict. i actually had problems finding a nice spot on the bed of canberra roses to take LIVE roses that hasn’t died from being trampled upon or rained down with rubbish. stupid ignorant bastards who litter and trample on pretty flowers.
anyways! i am off to class soon with funny teacher…. he’s kinda cute, stutters, dry jokes, but cute nontheless.
p.s dear friends, when i am trying to read my readings… please don’t msn me trying to tell me how BIG the rain is in Singapore. i will flood you with some buckets of water when i get home. siao char bor.
technorati tags:pictures, photos, trips, walks, friends, personal, blog
some recommendations
Everyone is driving me crazy, i swear.
All About a Little Girl
I had this classmate, called R. She has been talking heaps to me since she went back to China. her parents are on the verge of divorce. it’s not like they are poor or anything, infact, they are far from it (and sometimes, i think money is the root of all evil. but that’s just me). however, she is determined to earn her own money so she can fly home on her own money to be with her parents during this difficult time.
Which, is REALLY commendable. i was willing to do everything for her that i can do to help her secure a job. she didn’t even know how to write her own resume, and everything she has mentioned so far is, “i am so silly :(” as an apology for all that she doesn’t know.
but my patience is wearing thin.
she had see me in school, and ask me EVERY SINGLE DAY, on msn, in school, sms, ANY FORM OF COMMUNICATION VIABLE AND ACCESSIBLE TO HER, to remember to push my boss to get her the job. to ask if they want her, to make sure they want her, that they MUST MUST MUST give her the job.
it’s driving me nuts. so much that i get SCARED when i see her online, i can TELL what she’s going to say. i have even told her there’s no point hounding the matter, if they need her, they will call her. besides, we are undergoing a period of transition at the moment, it would take longer than usual to get back to her. STOP ASKING ALREADY!
Then again, it’s really hard to tell if she could get the job or not, because our new boss sounds like he’s trying to cut expenses too. furthermore, her first words to Don was, “i think if you keep Vi any longer, she will only be a trouble maker.”
For someone so utterly new to even the working world, that’s such an ethically wrong first steps to take ~.~Â gah!
Bus People
One of my first experiences of Australians, was this little girl on bus 167 from Thomson to Orchard Road, back in singapore. i was only 13, i think, and she was probably 8 or 10 max. the bus was utterly full to the brim, and like most typical singaporeans, nobody was willing to get up and let anyone take their seats, babies, grannies or otherwise. i was obviously not in a huge need for a seat, and boarded the bus when there were none. so i was left hanging from the bars.
an old lady came up, and the 2 kids took one look, and got off their seats, offering the old lady the seats when no one would. everyone just pretended to be sleeping or spacing out. the kids didn’t cared.
When i got here, the other things that struck me about Australians were their friendliness, the smile, and the general warmth.
for the past couple of weeks though, something seems to be lacking. because of my change in timetables, and therefore work rosters, i clashed heavily with the end of the working day, and those who are going out to work in restaurants and stuff. regardless, there are always seats. but now, people are pretending to sleep, space out, and some, as i discovered in the last couple of nights, stared the hell at me as if daring me to make them move their BAGS so that i can grab a seat. The looks were cutting, even fierce.
seriously. i have asked some people to fucking move their bags before. if i get in the mood again, this time i will just seat on top of your bags. don’t need to stare at me, or even mockingly challenge me (”i was sleeping, sorry”). Sleeping people would not stop sleeping suddenly to turn around and see if i had found a seat elsewhere.
infact, if i feel utterly bitchy, one fine day i will sit ON TOP of you. i don’t care if you are 18 years old and trying to look cool. i will embarass you outright, bitches.
Seats are for people, the last time i checked. and seats are meant for individuals. don’t be such a whore and take up 2 seats by sitting right in the middle. YOU AREN’T IMPORTANT.
Classmates
Ok, this is more wtflol than annoying.
while i was busy whinging about how my classmates are so much smarter, and being all postgrads and tech nerds and shit, it turns out that my lecturer is probably going to feel worse off than me. hehe. Today was the best example yet, since she got slammed down by them. i didn’t even have to say much.
basically, we started talking about file sharing and peer-to-peer networks, and what would then constitute as a copyright infringement and what wouldn’t. she pointed out, with new technology, new stuff that just streams the “music” or “movies” aren’t necessarily infringing copyrights. infact, it’s similar to just playing the songs that you own (and of course assuming that you bought the cd) for your friends in your room or something. there’s also bits and pieces about performance rights, but that came a little later.
infact, because “technology has advanced so much, that copying streamed works are not possible..” they aren’t infringing copyright.
immediately, hands went up, voices started arguing against it: the nerds (50 years in IT field and stuff like that) declared that “anything that you can see or touch CAN BE COPIED. it’s just a matter of being able to access the software to ‘rip it’.”
she was so stunned. she combed her fingers through her hair 3 times or more, and just turned around and tried to continue the argument, but she has lost and she knew it. it was kind of fun, to see that LECTURERS ARE FALLIBLE AFTER ALL! of course i knew that from ages ago, but it’s always interesting to see it happening, so that i am assured i am not the only one that didn’t quite get things sometimes 
With that all, i must declare, my classmates might just make the best pirates yet.
technorati tags:work, school, australia, bus, rides, bitching, rant, classmates, piracy, complaints, personal, blog
a few notices
I don’t know where i get the idea from, but suffice to say i finally realised that holidays aren’t ever really holidays. i worked my ass off, my eye bags are as big as ever, and i am about to kill the sun every morning when i wake. if only sleep is actually restful. i have been waking up to a sore body every morning.
The Bitches:
i know it’s about time i let it go. R’s statement yesterday kinda made me hit another brick though, and as usual, i struggle every night to work along with them. on the outside though, i am just about as calm as i can be. really. obviously though, to be friends with these 2 nitwits is pretty impossible. i am not quite sure how to be friends with the very people who accused me of stealing their jacket, and whom, as i found out today, has been stealing whatever tips they could lay their hands on that’s mine. they give me back some just not to suspect them. but, whatever yer? someone saw.
However, tonight, they fell out with niccie. Well, just Vi anyways. firstly, Vi ORDERED niccie to go look after her tables, while she COUNT HER TIPS. erm, excuse me? isn’t that meant to be done during your personal time? you aren’t damn well paid to count your damn tips. yer. so Niccie obviously refused and told her to look after her section herself, to which Vi went off and said, “i am busy. you go do it.” and niccie silently refused. Vi huffed and puffed, then, “are you going to do it or not!!”
wow, ain’t someone retarded.
then, back when they had the little tiff with me, they refused to clean the cutleries for anyone. tonight, they took all the cutleries that everyone else cleaned, but cleaned none themselves, even going so far as to snatch them out of James’ hands. so when Vi tried to snatch the cutleries out of Niccie’s hands, she grabbed them back and told her to clean some herself. she had almost no customers. there should be no reason why she wasn’t 1) cleaning the cutleries when they have been there the whole night, and 2) needing people to slave away cleaning cutleries for her. Vi stared at her and stomped off, and ordered Ching to clean cutleries and clear her tables for her.
and ching, being her little slave, did it.
and soon after, she suddenly came up to me, and offered to clean my tables for me. something she hasn’t done for 1 month now. so i was like, “uhm… ok if you want to.”
Then, suddenly, she came up again, while i was cleaning the 3 lot of tables, and again offered to clear them for me. AND even tried to joke with me some lame thing about the cakes those guys left behind.
erm…. *shrugs* if she thinks she can attempt to win me over, to be a friend, after calling me a whore, slut, bitch and then a thief, she have alot of thinking to do. it’s easy to forget all the whore shit, but it’s hard to let go of being called a thief - especially over a jacket that’s probably worth like 5 bux or some shit.
The Hidden Sorrows and some Secrets
i visited Emma again today (thus the pict above). If anyone remembered, i mentioned about a classmate that was raped. It was by someone she trusted as a friend, and in the conservative culture she used to live in, it was a shame she couldn’t shake off. but i don’t think she really want to ever talk about it again, and at present seems to have a pretty normal and active sex life, as proven by the boxes of condoms she and her boyfriend seems to have.
however, emma told me about this other side i never knew before. i know Both J and T are fairly happy together, on the surface anyways. T had always cook their meals for both of them, breakfast lunch and dinner, and looked after his every need. but on the side, J said he will never marry T. His main reasons were, his parents can’t speak mandarin, so neither her family nor her can communicate with his family. Then, it seems ever since her rape, she has been having little fits, easily triggered off by some “shock”.
A few mornings ago, their neighbour’s dogs started barking crazily, and they were asleep. in the shock, she started slapping herself, banging her head against the wall, and scratching her face - which all seems to me like some kind of a repressed angst against herself. i don’t know what to do. i shouldn’t be knowing this, but now that i do, i just want to reach out, but i don’t know how.
Most importantly though, if you aren’t ever going to be with her, and you don’t like the fact that she has fits that’s perhaps due to the rape incident, then WHY are you still with her? considering her conservative thinking, and how she has been hurt, i don’t get why J seems to be toying with her feelings. Is it because he needed the sex? or someone to cook for him? wash his clothes for him? have someone hang from his arms?
i cannot say how furious i am. i thought this guy was some what mature at least. i guess, i am wrong.
Jerk face.
technorati tags:work, rape, friends, sad, jerks, depression, repressed, bitches, work, weird, colleagues, waitress, personal, blog
Growing up vs Maturing
I am still a little stunned and speechless. ok, so this afternoon, R asked to meet me to talk to me about some of her family’s problems. for someone’s that’s rich, i find it hard to go out with her and actually do something that she had enjoy that’s not got to do with shopping therapy. i know she’s upset about something, but other than listening to her and offering advice (at best) there’s nothing much i could do. Initially i thought, it’s probably a change of fortune with her family’s business. Rich people aren’t often used to suddenly being poor, case proven by an ex classmate of mine who wept and whined about it for ages after her parents’ divorce and the mom opt not to receive money from her dad. or well, not touch it anyways and directed to some kinda trust fund.
She was a fully capable mum, just not very rich on her own. the dad wanted nothing to do with my then classmate, which resulted in her instant loss of a chauffeur (but still had mum driving her), a 2k monthly allowance and lotsa other perks that a 14 years old REALLY don’t need to have.
but i am getting ahead of myself.
Anyways, after we met, got ourselves lunch, i tried to figure out what was wrong and just cut to the point. she immediately started staring at her food as she talked about her parents divorcing, then putting up a smiling face for me. she knows they are probably better off seperated, but i also know from her face she didn’t want to talk much further. there’s more she’s witholding, but aside from fulfilling her need to mention to someone about the fact, she doesn’t want to divulge more.
all she wants to do now, is to work to earn some money to go home and spend time with her parents. she feels they aren’t taking it well either, and just wants to be there for them. and i feel sad for this litle girl. she’s here all on her own, and her family’s falling apart.
Just last night, Q was telling me how her parents are divorcing too. the difference is, Q and her mum is actually pretty glad about the divorce. In 2003, her dad just went “missing” while going on a “business” trip to batam. he has always been a shody person, so his missing, after borrowing a tonne of money from both her, her mum and later on some debtors, wasn’t surprising. it was landing them in the debt that utterly… surprised them though. or rather, the amount of it.
almost 3 and a half years on, her relatives, while touring batam, found him begging in a corner, because his “wife” (mistress) and his 2 kids with her died in a fire, complete with the “loss of his passport”. he was begging for his remaining kid there, and asked the relatives to mak Q and her mum call him back, so that he could “catch up with them”. and to lend him 2k coz he doesn’t have the money to go home or make a new passport.
stupidity doesn’t even begin describing this man.
Regardless, knowing that 2 very different friends are undergoing family problems kinda upsets me. i don’t know what to offer, when one doesn’t want to talk about it, and the other just have financial related problems. i want to give them a huge hug, and shower them with some love. but one’s too far for a hug, and the other cowers away into her corner.
*stretches*
i will figure something out.
Also, this little outing though proved to be a bit… informative. apparently, ching called her TO NOT TO TALK TO ME! and that vi is more popular than me at work, well loved and well liked and etc.
yes girls, we are so fucking in pre-school. you have to TELL my friends NOT TO TALK TO ME because i am omg so bad and the very epitome of evil (yes that’s what she said). and popularity.. is so important in a job. i am not going to deny it, being the BOSS is very important. too bad you don’t have a fucking million to buy the franchise.
-.-” some people need to grow up.
Target for this term: saving money to go home to dad. for some odd reasons, his various phone calls to me this past month, sounds like a desperate attempt to find someone to talk to. phone calls are expensive, when you aren’t working to cover the expenses anyways. i can make the calls from here, but i think he and i need a little father-daughter walk out together for him to unwind and shit. we used to do that often when mum was driving us up the wall. motorbiked it to some random places and just chat with a roti prata and chrysanthemum tea/kopi C.
I also need to see for myself whether my willow of a sister really did turn fat. my dad’s been grouching about how she’s turning fat and other stuff like me. i am not surprised if she’s got a belly. she’s been developing it since she was 12. but being all around fat, that’s something to watch.
Trivia: Sis’s taller than me, despite being 8 years younger. i bet God’s laughing everyday about it.
Amount i need to save: well. uhm. the flight’s 900 bux. I will be gone for 2 weeks, so i need 260 minimum to cover my ass for the fact that i won’t be working those 2 weeks. i need to give dad some money, PLUS obviously i am paying for our nights out eating at various junctions. 12 bux a night = about what… 170. Various transportation fees and shit: erm… 100? (including pulling parents around. i guess that means cab fares eh? cab fares hiked up last i went home). not to mention all the chii chii chaa chaa…. erm…
i will leave that at 500 bux minimum then.
i need about 1800 to make sure it’s a comfortable trip. i have about 1.5 months to make that. possible? well, half of it would be sg bux. the main amount, 1.2k would be aud. so. 1.6 aud then.
yer ok. workable. time to work my ass off. w00t.
P.S i got 6 bux tips tonight. in total. only 1 table tipped me, and that’s because it was niccie celebrating her birthday. she walked over to tip me. but… everyone else was settled by Vi. does something smell fishy to you? i don’t know. while she had returned me 10 bux tip the other night, uhm… she is also well known for “keeping” tips because she “settled” the bills.
technorati tags:home, parents, work, problems, issues, calculations, personal, blog
Welcome to university
Welcome to our university, where sometimes we fuck with your brains so much, you don’t know the difference between your big toe on the right to your left ear.
First, we will tell you that you can come back in 30 mins to settle all those advance standing issues, because it will take us more than 30 minutes to clear that issue up. we make you go for a hike around the refectory for food, enjoy the orientation performance…
.. which consists of a small band and their friends dancing like kangaroos near them, about 5 societies’ stalls nearby, complete with the obligatory DDR dance pads for nobody to dance. and a girl with a skirt so short, u wonder when the next breeze might blow by, just for your benefit. oh did we mention, we have a barbie going on too, but they only provide beef sausages with some onions, so eat it or get stuffed.
When you come back to look for us though, i will suggest going away again though. because it’s likely your convenor forgot about you, and her promises to you, and left for her 2 hour lunch break. AND, she will ignore your knockings on the door, even after those 2 hours, because lecturers are human and need quiet time after their lunches, to meditate to their Apple Computers, with ipods stuffed between their heads and kicking their macbook pros with 2 toes.
Then she will give you some funny advices, and sign all that shit, that she says will take 30 mins, in 2 minutes. and send you on your way right across the quadrangle, past the student hub, the library, the post office, and some other lecture halls, to your faculty. because, omg, Arts faculty doesn’t really exist. POLITICS BELONGS TO THE LAW FACULTY! or something strange like that!
Upon reaching there, you circle around the 2nd floor 20 times, missing the stairs up to the final floor where that weird guy who teaches you resides. because…
…. the entrance of the stairwell, complete with the walls of it, is the exact same colour as some of their toilets! As if that’s not enough, after the complicated process of finding 2 convenors to approve your “right to go into the next level of the course”, going to your faculty student admin might be a fatal mistake! because apparently the “slower and less efficient” department is the right division to go to, even though they are not technically your faculty. because, YOUR FACULTY CANNOT ENROL YOU IN THOSE COURSES! only the divisions can!
that’s when you might discover, POLITICS IS LAW FACULTY’S!!!! or something.
Then, please go get your university student id done. but before you can take your photos, even if you had lined up for FOUR HOURS for your photos, i am afraid you cannot take your picture and stuff your uni id in your wallet. you have to enrol yourself into courses before we can do that for you. but we will forget to tell you that until you are right at the end of the queue. and even when you leave knowing you gotta enrol in some courses, we forget to tell you just 3 courses will do to be considered a full time uni id.
Sigh.
no, i don’t hate uni already. but running around like some mad cow today drove me up the wall. again, this idea of enrolling prior to taking photos so one can know if one’s a full time student or not, baffles me. computers are intelligent enough to remember if this student is enrolled as a full time or part time student. secondly, i don’t need a department enrolling my courses for me. ~.~ i am not stupid, programming it to just accept a “code” would have been good enough. so i just have to talk to one party, get a code and everyone’s happy and not disturbed ~.~
i am still annoyed at the colour of the staircase though. VERY ANNOYED actually.
also, of all my courses, only ONE OF THEM has an actual prescribed textbook. i can understand why for 2 of them though. the convenor for one of them explained to me that there was just no textbook good enough, so he will leave notes on webct instead of creating a brick of useless notes. The other one, judging from the course load and the manner of carriage, i am guessing it’s more like a hands-on unit than one you just read and read. It’s 4 hours of seminar, and 40 hours throughout the term i think, with most of it conducted ONLINE. unless she has something up her arse, i doubt about the textbook.
but the final one… i need to grab someone who isn’t so eager to leave their office on ORIENTATION COURSE INFORMATION SESSION DAYS at 3.30pm.
Went out with the girls at night though, after a really tiring day. i am glad i went, despite the fact i would rather be home and sleeping.
we bitched, talk random shit about piano playing, laughed at the waitress, picked on the waitress, and just behaved like the ultimate bitchy customers that we were, complete with no tipping. It was actually kinda fun, waitress checking out on waitress’s actions kinda bitchy, but fun
technorati tags:university, rant, orientation, advance standing, problems, issues, complaints, bitchings, girls, tired, personal, school, blog
Reasons
Why i got more tips last week:
2 sundays ago, while i was doing laundry, my poor tired mind forgot that my name tag was still on my shirt. that was how tired i was, i just left work with my tag still on, and chucked it into the washing machine, thankful that the week was over. obviously, that fucked my name tag up. it broke into like 2 zillion pieces, and i was left tagless. i could have glued them back, but being the emo bitch that i was, i asked for another name tag.
Mel decided that it would be funny to put my name as Shazza, which is like the colloquail form or something of cheryl (a la sheila of the desert… i think). needless to say, it’s like the focal point of all my customers, regardless of their ages or profession, everyone just breaks down into fits of guffaws.
That in turn earned me heaps of tips as well. so i don’t think i should mind my name being ripped apart like that :p
****************************************************************************
Why she is doing that:
i came home tonight, to sounds of heavy footfalls behind the door. at first i thought nothing of it, since my housemates’ room is right beside the door. But when i opened the door, i saw the GF of the downstairs couple, walking towards me with her head stuck between the earphones of some mp3 player, which i thought was a phone initially. i said hi, walked to the kitchen to get my winter melon tea (which is RARE in canberra THANKS).
she followed behind me, then did an about turn and walked to the front door again. she did that like 10 times while i was drinking my tea. it looked nothing short of what my mentally ill uncle does, walk from kitchen to the door. Except, the distance between this kitchen and our door is way shorter than what my uncle does.
15 laps later, she noticed my curious looks, “oh, i am just doing my quick-walking exercise.”
DOT DOT DOT
we live in a HOUSE. there’s like a running track, a stadium, some cycling tracks, and it’s a quiet neighbourhood. go walk outside! inside your smoke infused house that we live in, there’s like ZERO fresh and clean air. it’s healthier, and perhaps less hard on your brains if you actually do some real walking.
50 laps later, she decided she’s tired, and went to bed.
*struggles to understand*
besides, she doesn’t even like walking, especially to school. which is like, 15 mins walking for me. O.o
****************************************************************************
Why Cheater’s hostile towards all of us:
Apparently she blames all of us for her second failure in her computing class. wtf. all of us offered to help at one stage in time or another. but all she wants to do, ever, was to plagiarise our work.
Get a life, kkthxbye.
And i can’t believe, of all people, she is angry with emma, tina and peter the most. these 3 peopple are the most helpful of all the batch of students. she was so mad that when she saw emma wave to her once, she sniffed, rolled her eyes, and stalked off.
no, really, you are approaching 40 already, AUNTIE. maturity was supposed to come with age.
technorati tags:housemate, work, nametags, classmates, school, university, life, exercise, tips, me, personal, blog
Uni Woes
today’s my day off work. i didn’t have much to do, that isn’t work or school related, nor had i anything planned. i mean, i tried to do something unusual yesterday morning, and went for a 10 minute rollerblading around the parking lots infront. i think that was a big mistake. first, it was too fucking cold. i almost froze my leg hair off. secondly, i realised that such a long hiatus from rollerblading resulted me me having sore bones and muscles today. i could barely wake up, much less walk around.
but i did go out anyways, just because i was bored and trying to avoid obvious chores (read: clean my damn room). Had to sell some textbooks that i had been too lazy to bring to uni to sell. It was a wasted effort though. apparently uni doesn’t sell things for us till term starts. weird policy i say. in my little trip though, i got distracted by slovvy and ruby, who was as hyper as ever. we sat down and had a long gossip.
see, little miss cheater, who’s still undergoing the prep course, have somehow managed to progressed from the last few courses in general. i am not saying i doubt her intelligence, i believe she’s smart, but terribly lazy and a horrible plagiriser. however, when i met her on the bus yesterday, i discovered something really odd: she failed computing yet again. i understand people who have little to no interaction with computers before would have problems. that’s not hard to understand. she however, requested all kinds of help from the lecturer, and infact had TWO lecturers helping her with technology. to fail twice, and blaming it on the curriculum, the school timetable, and all her classmates (yes, she blames US for her failure), she takes the prize. slovvy said she won’t talk to anyone this term, and is terribly angry with the class. 
luckily, i am no longer with the class, otherwise i be in the path of her angst.
secondly, she suddenly and turned to ask me a few questions i know will spell trouble. “in uni, you don’t have to attend lectures right? it’s recorded right?” half her problems with coping with classes has NOTHING to do with the tight packed schedule. she has absolutly no work whatsoever. however, she’s terribly lazy. the first thing she ever does when she gets home is sleep. back during the ramadan month, she blames fasting for making her tired. now she blames the timetable for making her too tired to study.
but, i did warn her. yes you can skip classes. yes, some classes are recorded. this doesn’t mean you don’t attend classes either. the reason why there are less time for classes is because everyone’s too busy, and you have got tonnes of research and shit. she’s like “oh, don’t worry, i can handle it.” when i pointed out that lecturers would be too busy to attend to her questions as well, she was like, “i am a very independent student, i don’t ask teachers anything anyways.” yes woman, and that’s why you sat down with shaun for an hour after class every friday last term - to check out how his life is?
anyways, let’s ignore her. she annoys me even when i am not studying with her.
Ruby attends uni now, and ran into some problems. She’s in accounting (like most Asian students do), and while she got credit average for her electives, she failed her majors. O.o that poses a little problem. she’s fairly upset, not at the failure, but at the costs the failure is incurring. sigh. money is the root of all evil.
after i came home though, it appears my housemates were having a conference. one of those summer residers they had over when i first moved in, joey, was here to visit. he studies masters in accountancy in uni (asian again). after exchanging some courtesies, i queried after his exams. one of those days while i was looking for jordan and the uni admin peeps (to hurry up already with my app), i bumped into him finishing his exams with a look of consternation on his face. he was not happy, and felt he failed and was terribly worried.
and he did failed it.
He is terribly upset, and was over to discuss about his future plans. he doesn’t dare to go home, for the shame of his failure. but for another thing, he recognises now that accountancy perhaps isn’t the right course for him, and management might have been. he wants to stay on though, and decide on his next step in a more methodical manner, rather than being excluded from uni and having no particular choice. this is his second failure.
After warning him about dimia’s stance though, he has decided he will apply for CIT and then withdraw from UC altogether, so that he doesn’t have to explain his actions to DIMIA.
The thing about both cases though, isn’t about failure. hell, my failure is probably way more than theirs. It’s just, to gain some degree, ANY degree, that wouldn’t require them to use language skills, and being more practical as well, they chose paths that they know they are not meant for, or they just chose paths that look right. yes, interest might not be able to bring you money. but failures are just about as damaging to your cv too. think about it before venturing. and now joey’s so horribly broke too, he’s not sure how much he can hang on.
this is sounding a little familiar :p
at any rate though, joey said once he’s done with CIT, or whatever he does next, he might open a school in China when he goes back. an English school for people like him, but directed at kids generally. he said it’s good business. then, he asked if i would go over and teach. LOL?
here’s my tiny contribution to jake’s 4th of July…. albeit it’s a virtual contribution! (no stop staring at the name dammit)
technorati tags:failures, school, university, life, woes, problems, asian, choices, personal, blog, exams
bullies
It’s hard to get local news from home when the more officious papers decided to go pay-to-read. still, thanks to a few bloggers, i have been getting random news from home, albeit sometimes late.
it seems of late, videos of people bullying each other have been surfacing (search for miri girls bullies in youtube), and they seem to involve lots of girls. funnily, i actually found that surprising. i guess, when i read “bullies” i always expect both the victims and the perpertrator to be guys rather than girls. i came from an all girls’ school. while we didn’t have any outright bullying (threats were called out, but… nothing usually happens), everything were settled in sports, verbal matches, psychological abuse, but nothing obviously physically violent.
i don’t know what to say, except perhaps while physical abuse can be painful, and obviously scarring, but psychological abuse can be a pain to bear as well.
What made it sadder to watch these videos were:
1) The victims remain quiet, in general. sometimes, they don’t even dare to sob, or cry.
it reminded me of the times when i kept quiet when i dad canes me. the only reason i could give behind such a silence is so “as not to incite further reaction from the beater”. i mean, if you check out the miri girls video, whether she said yes or no, they have already concluded that she ratted out on them anyways. so either ways, you still get the same amount of beating, may as well keep quiet.
then again, since it is my peers, i might have fought back anyways and bitten them to death. the few times my dad made me snap, or my mum, i actually fought back. that kinda resulted in a few pained gums though, lotsa fist fights, and obviously lotsa pain. but i fought back, and they now have scars for trying to beat me up (caning became something i got used to, dad decided that caning was no longer enough).
2) the guys obviously bo lan ji (no balls)
li na eh, you watch girls kena punched, slapped, kicked, pulled at, and all you do is just hold the damn camera, and tell them to stop it? or even one last slap? bo gei ga, what happened to chivalry? oh yer, i forgot, if it’s girls’ fight, you just watch and jack off to girls fighting it out aye? or you too scared to get caught in between? kan ni na.
3) girls who wana act tough.
this was somethng, i guess, i picked up from secondary school. throughout my 11 years in St Marg’s, i realised that those “popular” girls, or “tough” girls, are only so because they have an audience, a clique, a bunch of supporters. but at the end of the day, if i throw you outside of that comfort zone, how tough are you? can you survive with no mum, no dad, no easy way to get money, no easy way to survive?
you can beat people up now, to get your way done, to threaten people not to rat on you. in the working world, sans obviously a few people in a few countries (read: the mafia), there’s only so much you can do, so far you can progress.
would be funny though, when 10 years down the road, they go to their customers, “chee bye, you better buy this product or i fuck your head up” lol…
4) the victim looked like she could do with a hug.
what would i do to be able to know who she is, so she gets a hug from me 
everything will be all right… eventually. memories of it will eventually serve to be lessons for us in the future. funnily, someone once told me, “it’s funny what made us outcasts in the past now serves to make us well liked.”
i must admit, i lived a luckier life than that girl, and few other kids, in the videos. because of the way i was brought up, school bullies were the least of my concerns. while i did not really have much friends from those 11 years of my life, those 11 years taught me to treasure what friends i have, to be what they are not, and how to be a real friend. admittedly, now some of them are firm and good friends with each other though, but those years were a horror in “materialism”.
girls were just being friends with each other because 1) they are rich, 2) they are pretty, 3) they are popular.
how far a road i have travelled.
i love you rosie! and sheetle… and yj, and ah ma… and… you all know who you are.
interestingly, i just realised, those 4 “hyperventilators”… we all learned piano at one stage didn’t we? :O
technorati tags:bullies, school, girls, life, growing, maturing, friends, fights, personal, abuse
Midnight Convos
Teaching is sometimes… not all it’s made out to be
Lindy says:
one group came up with the idea to examine the influence of tv violence on children
the target group: kindergarten kids
the questions in the survey: 1) what is your age group?
a) 18-22 b) 24-26 c) 27-29
2) what type of movie do u like to watch? a) romance b) horror c) comedy
  aNg3| dReAmS   says:
O.o kindergarten doesn’t equate… 18-22 O.o
Lindy says:
hahahaha
3) do u think children should be allowed to watch violent movies? a) yes b) no
4) what do u think of wrestling programs like wwf? (fill in the blanks)
another group wants to research on college students’ awareness of ghosts
what do ghosts eat? 1) they survive on sunshine…2) sand 3) flesh and bones
cheryl, can u understand my pain? really want to long piak…hahahaha
  aNg3| dReAmS   says:
Â
why bother Â
just burn the papers and fail them
Lindy says:
don’t think i can fail them…even though they deserve to fail…
the most i can do is give them a pass
  aNg3| dReAmS   says:
Â
fail that ghost writterr at least
such a retard
Lindy says:
hahaha
best part, this is a mass communication course
i asked the group, how their topic is related to communications
  aNg3| dReAmS   says:
 And?
Lindy says:
the answer: oh, we’re looking at communication with the dead
technorati tags:teaching, personal, students, blog, msn, funny, report
Blessed, priviledged or just flat out povo
i have been intending to blog about da vinci code for days, because i have actually watched the movie (finally!). but things have been just happening and happening, that are way more important than da vinci code or anything much else for that matter.
because these few days, i have just been calculating and re-calculating my expenses. it seemed for once, i really might have to leave after all. yes, i am that broke. that is, unless i just fail a class and then have to re-do that class, or 2. before you start thinking sideways, no, i didn’t plan to fail economics due to that. if i do fail, it’s just a natural part of being "Panda".
anyways, most of my classmates who are close to me knows about this. i haven’t hidden any facts that i would be leaving, because every time they ask me what do i plan to do after college, i couldn’t respond with anything that i thought sounds reasonable. plus, i have decided that lying openly to people who ARE studying WITH ME isn’t exactly going to help matters much, and lotsa other ethical factors.
besides, because some of them have went through some "looking for school" issues, they might know more than me about finding other schools to run to until i finish my degree.
however, someone came today, after being informed by one of my classmates about the situation. yes, i know who this person is, he is also one of my classmates. we had a LONG talk, over brunch, coffee and tea. and he offered to pay for everything, sans living expenses, and i can pay him after i am done with uni, and is able to re-pay him.
he felt, like my convenor, that i had the intelligence required to go through with what i want to do, and aspire to be. and wanted to make sure i do what i can with my youth (funnily, he’s younger than me).
and so, i might stay on for 2 years.
sometimes, i feel, God works in funny ways.
technorati tags: school, personal, financial, problems, degree
cooking God
So, lately i have been making my own bento and bringing them to school with me. not one for variety, most of my bentos so far consisted of chicken, fish, rice and perhaps the odd mushroom or corn so far. not that i liked corn in any manner, it’s just they go well with my chicken as a whole.
strangely though, my classmates like my bentos, and have been trying them out. i am amazed at their "choice" because i personally don’t think much of my bentos. they are made to fit my taste, and fit they do. but they might not be something that humans should eat. you must remember though, my bentos aren’t very big in size. they are literally proportions for primary school kids at best. therefore, with them stealing from my bentos, i don’t quite have enough to eat.
The funniest is, one of them, who was the constant thief, was quite funny. she had be eating from my bento and asked me quizzically, "is this enough for you to eat?" ERM… you ARE eating from MY bento, which IS tiny, and of course if you FINISH it, i wouldn’t have anything to eat then would i -.-??
then, we were supposed to have a group meeting tonight, and originally they wanted to meet at school, which i have no qualms about since my net has been… cranky, at best. then emma, that weird bento thief, was like, "LET’S GO YOUR HOUSE! YOU CAN TEACH ME HOW TO COOK CURRY CHICKEN!!!" or well, cook at all really, since she doesn’t even know how to cook rice.
initially, i was kind of nervous. the last time i cooked for anybody was like, 4 years ago at best. even then i didn’t cook much of anything. similarly tonight… *ph34r*
anyways, it didn’t turned out so bad, was kinda hard teaching her the right proportions for cooking anyways, because everyhing was off the top of my head by now. so i told her to just guess the gauge. she just nods away anyways, so i am making her come back to learn every now and then, especially since we have a 3 hours break between classes on mondays anyways.
i am running out of ideas on what to make bentos with though, that is until i came across this motherland of bentos.
it behaves like some sort of competition between which mother can cook and decorate better than the other person. some of these "bentos" are so ridiculously designed that i don’t know how anyone can bring themselves to eat it. i mean, surely, it is a sin to eat something so, OMG gorgeous.
all the picts are from e-bento… NICE RIGHT?!?!?! yer i am aiming to do something similary, sans the hard work :p
ah…. bed time! ^_^
technorati tags: cooking, personal, blog, food, bento, ideas
morbidity
to my dearest friends, do you all remember all these pacifiers? :p
2 pacifiers, 2 of those grip thingies, and the little bear, i have kept them all these years here, they have been with me as my carry-on when i fly, as things i had grip onto when i needed comfort.
i must say, while i am re-tidying my room (yes, yet another assignment period much worse than the previous one really), i held up this bag and these things hanging out of it, and remembered the laughs:
the ones that sent all what… 5 of us to hospital?
the little presents that sare decided was worthy of us asthmatics (or hyperventilators, depending on who you talk to) - the blue pacifier
how my dad decided the join the foray - the yellow pacifier
and my dear yj (爱 æ» ä½ )
these few days have been a whirlwind of stuff to do. firstly, i realise that even if i eat out, i would probably spend more money anyways, because i had see other things i had want and just lose control anyways. besides, nothing beats home cook-ed shet. despite the fact that i know nuts about using the right ingredients (actually i do, but i have no blender around and resorted to using pre-made pastes, much to the disgusts of my housemates), i guess i can afford to whip up something good for myself. so i shall re-attempt to go back to a proper healthy lifestyle.
as the days draw closer and closer to the end of the term though, i do feel a sense of dread. i still haven’t raise enough money for the next term, so i guess this is the end? these last 3 years have been awesome though, and i am glad to have been give the opportunity to broaden my horizons, no matter how little or how painful it may seem to have been.
i mean, hell, i get to see people FISH FOR THEIR FOOD.
i am fairly tired though, from all the work and the studying i have to input. suddenly, i wondered how i live through those years where i was studying, teaching tuition with bratty kids AND handling annoying boyfriends and having a life all at the same time. it doesn’t seem much, yet at times like these, when i so badly need a breather, i do really wondered how i handled it all.
on to happier things though, this week would be filled with a barrage of tests, assignments due in, group presentations and what have you. so i would be probably away from blogging this entire week (unless it’s to voice my frustrations *again*), BUT the girls at work asked me out on thursday night, and we have a “postal” dinner on friday.
i guess it’s more money going out as well, but i think after all these holing myself up to write assignments i deserve a good night out and getting all dead tired a la 2004 (when i was so tired that the boys had to literally carry me back on campus 
)
easter was great though, and mmm lotsa chocolate thanks to jake :p they are mostly uhm…. empty bags now.
I DEMAND MORE CHOCOLATE!!!
Notes to self:
1) need to wean myself from coke
2) eat at the right times
3) do laundries more often. they did wonders when the washing machine broke down.
4) recharge my ipod more often so i don’t feel half as lonely when i am doing homework or walking back
5) clean my room more often
6) keep to deadlines
7) stop asking for more shifts during assignment period -.-”
eat less chocolate and more vegies :p (ugh)
technorati tags: friends, personal, blog, homework, lists, end
Lubes and Candies
ok, when you see this pict, what do you think that advert is for?
this advert was shown to me by one of my classmates, and she asked me, and i was like, hrm, facial wash? another dude thought it was a sunscreen lotion advert, coz it was piers and the sun.
IT’S A FUCKING LUBRICANT!!! YES A LUBE!!!
now if you check it out, she’s sitting between like 4 pillars or something that holds up the piers or something. so anyways, i was like, oh wtf, a lube? and i was already laughing a little, coz i didn’t quite expect it to be like that. then my classmate, Yu, told me "it’s very creative, no?"
"hrm, i guess, but it’s very simplistic, so it’s not like it’s unethical or ethical, which is your topic for presentation tomorrow."
"oh, what’s a lube anyways?"
"oh.. uhm, u know, women gets a little too dry for sex sometimes, down there, and men find it hard to enter without dying from pain, so they use lube ^_^"
"oh, well see, that’s why it’s creative, because it means the lube was so good, she could sit on top of one of those poles and it enters smoothly!"
………………………………………………………………………
i died laughing at school tonight i swear. i couldn’t stop laughing, and i was still choking on my way home.
HONESTLY WOMAN! wtf possesed you to think that ANY CERVIX could hold in OR EVEN ALLOW AN ENTRY THAT HUGE!!!
jason: "she use qigong, and enlarge her cervix to that size…"
Teddy, "special lube service"
Yu, "WHY NOT?!?!?!?! IT’S A GOOD LUBE WHAT! THEREFORE SOMETHING THAT SIZE SURE CAN GO IN!"
uh…
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
jake’s little easter parcel arrived this morning. but i was too busy being passed out to answer my door. my only regret therefore, was not being able to collect more boxes. but i did keep the mailing label hehe….
this year’s haul included some pink marshmallows easter bunnies, hershey’s chocolate eggs, some other traditional bunny chocolates, some gummies and twizzler and bottle caps. mmmmm i have started munching on them, but i am glad for my anime’s arrival. so starved of anime right now, but i bet you anything by the time i can watch them, it be at least thursday :( God grant me more time, that i may be able to enjoy more of my life than the whizz bang that it has become. i want to walk around gardens and enjoy the smell of flowers.
while getting home though, i realised that i wasn’t…
well.
this is the road i walk home every night at 11 after work.
i used to be terrified of the dark, and had bedlights in the shape of mickey mouse, and it has to be up every time i go to bed. i was afraid of lightning too, and i hated my mum for ever laughing at me when i screamed and ran to clutch her skirts.
now, years later, like 20 years later lol, i am walking home on my own in the dark, along lonely roads, in a strange land (ok fine, not so strange now), accompanied by my ipod and sometimes running through thunderstorms without an umbrella.
i am no longer afraid.
does that mean that i have conquered my childhood fears?
maybe there’s hope for my other fears yet. :D
technorati tags: lube, innocence, easter, presents, dark, roads, homework
friends…
funny how things are. i seem calmer than i was a few days ago when i heard my dad’s contract is ending. i have told some of my classmates, since they asked if i was going to stay in UC to complete my degree.
of course, the answer is a no, for various reasons. i am not giving up my degree, but i am finding another path to it that will not deplete my parents’ finances, but will also benefit them and me.
however, one grew extremely concerned. she told me i can’t do it. i have been here for 3 years now, and while i have taken 2 steps back rather than 1 step forward in my degree, wouldn’t it be better to finish everything off here?
“sure, if i can get some form of financial aid, bursary or scholarship. i know i don’t qualify for the first one… the other 2 seems a little over the top, don’t you think?”
“you must try!”
and just like that, maybe i would try. i rather be with jake in the states though, because it makes more things easier and cheaper than it is here.
funny how she was terribly concerned, about how she thought i walked out of my english exam (because i finished an hour early but arrived 20 mins late). about how she feels i have to continue here and just give it my all. we just barely met.
^_^ maybe i induce such feelings from people. or maybe she’s just awesome.
A little bit
My dear friends,
i miss you all alot. This December, despite all the commercialism of christmas, all i remembered were the fun times with each and everyone of you, the tears shed, and the loving that we had with each other.
This December, marks the third year anniversary of my decision to come here and be the successful person that i envision myself to be, and where i thought i should embark on how to save the poor people, by being a politician or something in that caliber.
it has been 3 very lonely years at times, despite the friends i have here. there are no midnight calls, no constant sms-ing, no supper times with some of you, definitely no carrot cakes, much less the carrot cake meetings that we used to have. no one studies at maccas here with me, nor do people do that on a frequent basis.
Despite all that, i still love all of you as much as most of you still love me. Some of you are experiencing the “working world” now, something we did not used to imagine each of us would be doing. others are still struggling with their studies. some of us have even gotten married, and some more of us planning to.
Last night, i received a call from a dear one, whom i believe totally missed my birthday by 10 days i am born on 9th dec, not the 19th :P. while i was terribly asleep (it being 3 am ++++ here then), the warmth and cheeriness of her voice made me reminisced a little about the kind of student days that we had. i wanted to give her a HUGE hug, which unfortunately not even technology could do that for us, unless i physically fly over (which obviously means more drowning myself in work).
yesterday evening, i received some messages from a friend long lost because of some misunderstanding, unhappiness and just refusal to even want to chat with him, because i feel like a directory with every single conversation i had with him after graduation.
it seemed, much as i have refused to change, i have changed, and so have others. he has became… nicer? more caring and more God-loving than he already was.
I want to thank God, for the very friends that i have, and the friends that i have to come, for the happiness he has allowed me, and the lessons that i have learnt in this past year. For the presence of jake in my life, to the presence of my parents, no matter how annoying they are.
in this past year, with the help of my friends, strangers and beloveds that God has granted me, i have changed, grown and learnt new things that perhaps if i have not exprienced, i would not have understood nor care to find out.
While i have not exactly achieved what i initially set out to achieve, all these experiences have both made me a better person; they have also made me a more prepared person than i initially was. Would i still be the same person should i be threatened with imminent danger/threats in the future? i believe now that i would.
For that, i want to thank each and everyone of you for standing by me through all these times, particularly my dear yj who called me…. and a few others whom i believe i owe a call each
i love you all
Panda
Emotions without boundaries…
When i turned up to school these days, i usually don’t have time to socialise with my classmates. partly coz i am really trying to make an effort to keep up with having a life, doing my studies and keeping tracks of my other uni friends, and partly coz i don’t know where i fit in here.
when i do, i have a tendency to suddenly realise, hell, i have missed so much from these people. they aren’t bad people or boring or anything, i just feel awkward staying around them. it’s been a while since i have consciously tried to make friends, so it all takes a while.
however, these people treat me like someone close. it’s so shocking… somehow. just like how one person said last week, “oh, we are already so familiar with each other, don’t bother to be so courteous…” and i just gaped at her, coz i don’t think we were that familiar or close. she does try to invite me to her house for dinner and stuff but… 2 months isn’t a very long time, you know?
but a part of me cling on to these people i just met, and a part of me is just automatically protective. and today, i learnt something that both drove me nuts being pissed off with someone i have never met, and drove me depressed because i felt so helpless and sad for this person i just met.
i am going to put this simply, but perhaps words will never do this justice:
one of my classmates got raped.
a while ago, another classmate of mine were discussing this. he is particularly close to this girl, and i also know she’s a very cheerful, sunny girl. and suddenly being sickly and stuff, and looking like she’s just met hell just isn’t like her. and we saw scratch marks on her.
and today, while i was talking to her, i just casually asked her some questions about something totally unrelated, then she suddenly turned to me.
“i broke up with my boyfriend”
“hrm.. what’s wrong? are you ok?”
now, i was concerned. she’s new to the country, she’s alone, breaking up with your first boyfriend is never an easy thing, particularly when the few friends you do have… are people you have just met for 2 months.
“alot of things… they happened. they were horrible…”
“what’s wrong sweetie?”
“i got a new boyfriend now… he really cares and looks after me…”
“that’s good…”
“i don’t know what you would think of me if i tell you what really happened..”
“don’t worry… if you are not comfortable.. don’t tell. but i won’t be upset or anything.”
“i got.. you know… that..” her face started contorting… then she decided to distance herself away from whatever she was saying
“hrm was it what you wanted? or…”
“someone… someone i know… you know, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and i turned him away. but he’s my landlord’s friend, and i thought he was a nice person. but you know, one night, while he was sending me home from work and stuff, he asked to come up to my apartment.. i just… well. i thought he was a friend, i let him in, but i was tired, there was school the next day, so i showered, changed into my pajamas and told him he has got to go.. but you know.. he just.. forced me…”
tears started to fall and i rushed over and held her tight.
“it’s ok. it’s ok… it’s not your fault, it really isn’t your fault.”
“i… just can’t face my boyfriend. i told him you know, i won’t ever do such a thing, not with him not with anyone else till i get married and… now i feel so dirty.. and i broke up with him, because i couldn’t face him. yet i don’t know if it’s right, but i feel so dirty…”
“no… no you are not…” i held on to her hands as she tried to distance herself further, yet her eyes misted even more as she tried to contain it all..
“i know i don’t sound like i care…”
“shh… i know. i know. i was raped by my ex bf before… you know? and then he cheated on me.” to be raped by someone you loved and you thought loves you, that is a pain i can never describe.
i held her, and i don’t know what to say. the pain is something i can’t take away from her, nor be able to comfort her. she couldn’t forgive herself, she couldn’t let herself go, and i know she won’t be able to for a while, and now she’s relying on her new boyfriend for support, for happiness, because she couldn’t find it in herself to light herself up.
for the entire day and night, i couldn’t forget her face as she cried silently, blaming herself while trying to look cheerful infront of everyone…. i can’t forget her pain.
being pretty doesn’t make it your fault people wants you. dressing a certain way, doesn’t make it your fault that things went wrong. coming from an asian society though, it is perhaps easier to keep quiet and blame yourself, for the shame it brings…
nobody who loves you should bring you so much pain.
so much.. pain
how to unearth a jerk…
so i miss alot when i don’t join classmates at luncheons or little breaks. then i realised i missed out so much when they started discussions when i am actually around… and this little discussion yesterday kind of made me both curious and worried at the same time.
see, there’s this nice little chinese girl in my class known as Leila. she’s this little thing, who’s at once pretty and naive. she’s very friendly with guys particularly, but it’s not coz she’s a flirt, but just that she’s naturally like that.
recently, some guy happened to see her in another class. some guy not within our batch of people, by the name of arthur. he “instantly fell in love with her”… as was told to one of our groupies by him. what subsequently followed though, show more signs of a maniac wanting to hurt someone than someone in love.
he called her frequently, sometimes even at wee hours of the morning, the day before early morning classes. this happened for 5 days in a row.
through out this time, she insisted that she has a boyfriend back home in china, and was getting obviously annoyed by him. however, she finally relented and went out for coffee or something with him. that started more balls rolling….
he tried to get her drunk at her own home.
then… he poisoned her.
no, i am serious. if it’s a one off thing, we would have just thought she got food poisoning. however, it seems every time she meets him, and have lunch, she gets terribly sick within minutes, looking like hell has descended on her.
so say 8,30am class, she looks great, awesome.
we had a break between 10.30-12.00.
she went out with him… had lunch.
at 12.30, she looks like someone had drained her of water, and was visiting the toilet beyond times countable.
tell me is that suspicious or what. and it didn’t happen once, it happened about 3 times now or something. the thing is, according to his friend or housemate, he did that to another girl before too. at the end of it, i think the girl got smart and rejected him outright. so he started spreading rumours that she wanted to get laid by him in revenge.
what.
a
WHORE.
i meant him.
so anyways, my brains started churning, coz the guys asked me how to help her, aka, if she was sick again. because that moron arthur keeps on calling her, asking to look after her and provides “medication” for her “illness”. and he seemed to know instinctively that she’s sick….
so now the big question is, whether we get her cured as soon as he poisons her each time or not is not the big matter, but as to how to make him show himself up to her so that he would fucking keep away from her or vice versa…
any suggestions?
laughter and love
the last few days have been quite a blur since jake’s arrival. we have been going out, checking out restaurants that i don’t and do know of.
friday was his birthday. originally, i planned for him to have it at hog’s breath. but prior to his arrival, it was also wade’s departure to yvette’s arms. which results in a comedy as we 3, linxy, wadey and me, went to a teppanyaki.
the night started off quietly, and perhaps too normally for me. we have teppanyaki back in singapore before, but none like those i have experienced here, at least not the teppanyaki i ever had in singapore. those i had, were in the thomson plaza food court, or the bishan junction 8 food court, which were, uhm, just like normal food court food except you get to see them cook it infront of you.
here, they entertain you.
or, they mess you up
wade, never quite know how to eat with chopsticks =/
thus
random eggs flew all over the place.
and random rice flew all over his crotch….
mmmm wadey, i didn’t know your crotch loves food :X
for jake and i, when we went over, we ordered a slightly different meal. this time, it was the cheaper one as jake wanted to try the sirloin steak. however, only the cheapest one had sirloin.
one thing i noticed about jake, is how small he eats in terms of portions. he can never finish a full aussie serving worth of food. we normally talk about how westerners eat huge portions… jake seems to defy that notion heavily.
hell, he even eats way less than i do.
also, he doesn’t quite like raw food or vegies, so i ate possibly half his teppanyaki worth of stuff that night (sushi… the salads… etc) whcih was kinda sad -.- but as long as he enjoys it.
of course, that nub simply had to forget his camera, despite him already regretting not taking out the camera for the last couple of days prior to that.
he had fun though and that was all that mattered.
the entire dinner was a little tame, perhaps because the chef seemed to be pissed with himself that he dropped his equipment twice while trying to make it all look cool. i found out later on though, that while he was one of the 2 head chefs, he’s not japanese (yes the one that served us when wade was there too). he’s a viet 
we rented a movie that night and bought groceries for the first time it turns out too, that he can’t cook! well he knows how to cook instant noodles. so we decided that i would cook, and teach him at the same time whatever i do know. you know, he doesn’t know that scrambled eggs uses milk o.o
however, i am a klutz. and as klutz do, i embarassed myself infront of him again and again and again by doing stupid things.
while we were at woolies, we couldn’t find the sliced cheese that he needs. now, woolies people are dressed in black and white. black pants, white shirt. i saw these 2 guys in black pants white shirt and black and white name tags walking around and asked them, “excuse me, where are the sliced cheese?”
and by pure chance, i looked closer at the name tags, and realise it said “church of jesus christ of the later day saints”.
mormons.
……
i am such a retard. i was very embarassed and apologised profusely. of course, as luck would have it, we kept meeting again and again, the nice mormon guy and us. he said it was ok, that he shopped there long enough to be a staff anyways, and that we just have some great luck with each other.
but with each meeting, i just feel like cringing into the deepest hole on earth =/
the next day, we had lunch at filthy gorgeous instead of hog’s breath as planned, since i would go back to work anyways, i didn’t felt like going to work twice in a day.
doesn’t that look awesome hey?
he finally remembered his camera, so you get to see it all from his point of view
however, the square block to the right of the pict? it was too rich. the thing on the left tasted too shit. so we only ate the meats :X
We went to dickson to return the movie we rented out as it was a one day rent only. it was a sad horror show, korean, with a slight twist at the end, but i will talk about it in a bit.
and god. it has been raining ever since he came. and then…
(remember, this is the beginning of summer)
hail storm.
just LOOK AT THAT LITTLE PELLETS OF ICE!!! WE COULD HAVE DIED!!! DAMN WEATHER!!!!
ah…
but it was good. we had lotsa laughs and lotsa fun. most of all… it was great being together coz we were so comfy with each other and teasing the rest of the world
except… we have a friend, his name in the game was called freja. he made the biggest joke for us
he got drunk yesterday and said a huge bunch of crap.
“i have 3 balls!!!”
“hi love! i love you! come sweden and marry me!!”
“i have bigger balls than your boyfriend..”
oh i could list more, but damn LOL… he made us laugh so much
<3
abc
talking to someone i met from lineage 2 today, we were discussing about Densha Otoko, a show that jake and i have been watching. it’s a show made from some forum board, where a nerd kept asking questions as to how he should date a woman, what he should wear, and at the same time sharing his experiences with them.
the actual message board has not claim whether it was true or false, they totally refused any questions about that as far as i can see. i am sure you can find more info about the show on wikipedia.
the thing is, while i was talking to this person, he was asking, have i watched the show to the end yet, to which i said no, as i was waiting for the shows to 1) finish translating, 2) to reach jake and 3) i don’t like reading chinese translations.
pixellised chinese characters give me a headache, it’s hard to read as it is, and having it on the monitor makes it painful. i can speak it, i can think it, but reading makes me feel like throwing up, though i can read most of it. he proceeded on to call me abc, saying that since i have no desire to return home, since i think in english AND chinese, then i am an abc.
i flared up.
perhaps it was a small matter, perhaps he thought it was funny, but as it is, i was ostrascise as a kid for even being english efficient. like, people like to come to me to ask about english and how to write and stuff, but they don’t like to play with me. they think i am weird, and of course being a bookworm sets me apart further. there’s more to that about being lonely since young, but this is what i am going to be touching about.
being an abc though, an “american borned chinese” or in Fred’s words, “australian born chinese”, when i am neither in any sense of the word, is a different setting altogether. on the one hand, locals had go “wow, he/she must be rich blah blah blah” but at the same time, other than fawning over them, some of the groupies i know does nothing more than fawning over the abcs.
on the other hand, i know the abcs has also 2 other problems. their own families sometimes criticises them over their lack of roots or feelings towards their “home country” or race really, while the “americans” or whatever host natives they might be in, might just be.. racist towards them.
the list goes on, but they are in a class of their own.
fred’s callous comment got me pissed. he said it’s a culture, since i don’t think in mandarin, or see mandarin as a natural thing, i must be an abc. he barely knows me. he doesn’t know if i wanted to go home or not. he doesn’t know how much i miss home, and how i miss local shows, dramas and movies.
sure, i may think coherently in both english and chinese, but i am from singapore, most people i know do that. is there anything wrong with that? does that makes me less chinese than him, less asian?
then he went on to say, since Densha Otoko is in japanese, it’s more natural and easier to understand in chinese than in english, because jokes get lost in translation.
excuse me here while i try and figure this out. since when was chinese = japanese? i mean, sure some of the olde chinese words are similar to that of japanese kanji (i think), but their culture is as different from ours as western culture. we have similarities, but we also have differences. words still do get lost in translation, no matter if the ultimate translated language is english, chinese, russian or french.
what would be awesome is whether if you are an asian, an european or whatever language user, and you can still grasp the jokes of some other culture in your native language, that makes a hell of a difference. so he can’t get the jokes in english but can get it in chinese. where else i can do both but chose not to watch it in mandaring (yes i have watched japanese shows with mando subs before), then that’s his problem.
that doesn’t make him more superior than me, more chinese or more asian.
so please get off my ass about it. there’s no “more asian” or “less asian”, but there’s “more capable” or “less capable”. get over it.
plagiarism
25 mins to class now, just done with maths and am testing out the network here. so far, can’t access my gmail.
*feels sorry for herself*
have anyone of you encountered people who are semi-capable of doing their stuff themselves and never got round to doing it? like they just leech off other people, wait till the answers are given and claim it as their own?
there’s this girl in my class, who is particularly weak in language, but as far as i know, seems ok with maths. i mean, you use them everyday: how to add, subtract, multiply and divide. since the first day i’ve known her though till now, in every single class that i have with her, she would cling onto me, sit next to me.
that is fairly understandable though, since she is weak in the language department. however, in various classes, she had come in with a pencil and a pen. when either runs out of ink/broke/before she got them, she had borrow from me or another classsmate that she knows.
no problem.
then she would not bring any writing materials at all to classes and borrow paper and such.
no probs again.
then she starts copying our work, coz she couldn’t keep up with the class nor understand at times.
again, no problem.
until, she refuses to do her work, rather wait for answers to be given to be written. and then she had either copy my work, wait for teacher to give it to her or just simply don’t do anything. i got fairly annoyed just now coz she kept on “excuse me…” and then push my arm away from my paper while i was trying to listen, just to get my answers, coz the teacher calls on us to ensure we are keeping pace with him.
sometimes i get my answers by mental calculation, particularly those that we gotta do in class, i wasn’t going to write the entire process down. and then she had ask me questions again later on how i got the answers. which is fine, but she doesn’t seem like she processed them coz later on the teacher had ask…
“what multiplies 5 to give you 25?”
“uhm… 10.”
but teacher couldn’t hear her coz she was speaking softly, and just said “right.. 5… so what does 4 times 5 gives you?”
“uhmmm… 40…”
sigh…
and she had come in late so that she can pick sits to who she want to sit beside, so it makes it harder to avoid her since i normally arrive early or on time.
can i start maths next term instead ? >.>
ANGEL: wtf is stats LOL… i don’t have any clue anymore at this point lmao. get online later and tell me. the last time i did anything maths related is 1998… no idea wats stats or anything mathy… TELLL MMEEEE… coz jake is useless :X
Wadge and sadness
wadge and i had dinner at la pasa, a proper one in the restaurant’s opinion. the food isn’t all that bad, considering that it’s a watered down version of asian food and stuff. wade had ayam something something, basically tomato sauce fried chicken type stuff, one of their specials listed under curry. which is kinda weird by the way, it isn’t really a curry. not even the least spicy o.o more like sweet chicken or something.
i had the curry chicken rice, basic dish so easier to gauge the dishes.
as i said, they are pretty all right, they could do with more generous servings of curry sauce on my rice though, it was.. not enough. at least for me. you know how curry should be, all over your rice, dripping wet and what not. that was just… moist. hehe….
we had a bit of a discussion with regards to our respective half. i am still getting used to the idea of a long distance relationship, and was thus a little cut by gin’s words that
1) she doesn’t believe he exists,
2) what if he’s fucking women around behind my back or
3) he has been lying to me about himself?
then she apologised, saying that she just doesn’t trust guys.
well. i still say, “shouldn’t i be the one saying all these, gin?”
it’s not just about ed. not everything revolves around him. william ran off with my 5k leaving me in a debt yet threatens to fuck me up when i go back, since i broke up with him. eddie broke into my email account, and by the way, you probably didn’t know this.
he cybered my friend and offered to pay for her cab down to “visit” him. i am sure i needn’t elaborate on what the visit was for. obviously kim and i are no longer friends.
you know what nick said. and i ain’t guna talk about my first because… that’s some painful history that i am sure at some stage i have told you about.
between you and me, and some of my other friends, gin, it should be harder for me to trust guys since i had to physically endure it, emotionally run through it and in the end was still with nothing much more than tears. it took me some money, lotsa other pain to find my way back into the light again.
life sux. but if i don’t trust God to throw something all right my way at some point in time, then i never would find the light. it’s good to be cautious, but not overtly worried about shit like that.
we talked about forum life, because other than Densha Otoko, which many people are forcing me to watch coz it’s crazy LOL, there’s quite a bit going on in some of the forums i frequent now. in the life that i lead now, to save my money, i rarely go out.this usually ends up with me being on the net or reading some random fantasy books all the time. it’s not that bad a deal, seeing that half my friends are back home, and the other half i pick up all across the net. from counter-strike, to lineage 2 peeps. at some point in time, our interaction lands up in a forum.
the thing is, look at l2blah.com for example. there are those who didn’t care if the other side of the monitor is a person or a comp. the huge amounts of flaming, e penis wanking and what have you. there is a line though, and this line can be crossed. you never know how much paying out a person can take.
if a person starts approaching mods and shit, then perhaps it’s a hint to pull out and stop the barraging.
some forums, sadly, has inattentive mods, mods who just don’t care or don’t wanna care. of course there are some who just simply can’t get involved.
Zoticx/hamster, comes to mind. in dec, one of our long time players died due to a bad car accident. while every sent their condolences, irregardless of their differences, zoticx hopped on and started being a hoe.
wait a minute…
zoticx has always been a hoe anyways, whether the people are dead or alive. as long as they don’t know him in real life, they aren’t friends, so no need to worry about them.
nevermind about that one time. zoticx is a hoe, period, in any forum, to most people except his clannies (i have heard contradicting views from ONE SAME PERSON so i shall just /ignore).
of course, in l2, no one really cares about the mods. hell, even sanctom (YES YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHEEP HUMPER, I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG!) would just create multiple accounts or spam for 2 pages in a row and get warned/banned/suspended, wash, repeat.
the key thing is, knowing when to ignore if you are getting hit, and knowing when to stop your own flaming. do unto others what you would want them to do unto you. consequences results from your actions, so don’t start whining and pointing fingers when you have obviously started shit that went out of control.
oh… and the discussion about our l2 lives, sucks that he’s on another server and i can’t abuse him everyday >.>
my new mask!!! all the pinkness unto me!!! weee… uhm the hair cuts into the mask abit, so now i look like i am blinded by my hair.
i finally got my tatts, but it also resulted in my -8 str. not that it made a hell of a difference. people still regen faster than i damage them. thanks to jake since lazy ol’ me can’t be fucked waiting for mammon just for my own tatts and also, uhm, i fucked up and bought the wrong tatts.
check out the damn clan tag man LOL… stupid mith LOL who the hell draws such a sad face LMAO.. it’s such a smoke face lmao T_T and i laughed all the way to work because of smoke’s damn sig and this damn clan tag!!!
yes, i know, my buffs viewing option is opened. i can’t live without them, i usually use them to see who’s poisoned and etc. habitual and good.i know it covers half my screen, but i am used to it now anyways feel weird if i go without them.
as for l2x, i think i am almost done with it. there’s nothing more to do there, again as i found out. i finally managed to log in, after discovering what my problem was. only to find my character stripped other than a weapon. after a few asking around, it seems that the gms’ decided to remove s grade armour from the game.
while mammon sells b grade upwards worth of gears and weapons, s grade armour aren’t buyables. someone claim they crash if they try to buy.
some good patching though, albeit, uhm, it’s a server wide underwear patch, so it’s different kind of naked as compared to our actual ncsoft idea of naked.
that WAS my dragon tooth. new name is angel slayer… hrm.. i like the wingsy part…
work tmr… and i only slept 4 hrs today.
gg.
officially aging
officially aging huh, gin?
happy birthday, my dear friend. while i am too broke to give u anything for the last 3 years (and to most of my friends too >.< ) i still remember you guys, even though i am shite at remembering birthdays. when i start earning money properly, i am just going to buy things at the beginning of the year and have some courier service remember the dates for me. simply coz i DO care, i am just shite at remembering birthdays.
i know she called me the night of her birthday, but i was just so out of it from working and so on, i was still in a state of comatose. and was going to do so till the next working day.
birthdays can be awesome, celebrations, gifts, and what have you. birthdays though, are really reminders that the world goes on, with or without you. and the time one wastes, is time that you get older doing nothing. depressing eh? yer…
i was watching some anime to pass away my off day. i don’t know why, i just suddenly wish i was back in secondary school, still young and silly, rash and emo all over. i just wanted to live it differently, and then see how life would have turn out.
would it make me any different as a person? maybe…
it still feel weird at times, like i was not in any form of transition, and suddenly i am on the brink of full time work, having to deal with the real world without any “results” in meritocratic form. no certificates indicating that you have done well in this section of life. no 9/10 for any performance that i would be doing.
on the one hand, it is scary. on the other hand, it seems like a whole new adventure. i only had a year’s worth of taste of it, and i must admit, i didn’t quite like it. now, if i do have some form of certification, would that actually be any better? looking at different blogs though, it seems like no matter how much of a certification, you would still have to face with jerks and retards in the office.
and unlike school, you can’t just wish for a different class from them next year.
officially aging.
goddamn. i hate feeling old