Lent 2008 - Footsteps

This year, Lent started way earlier than i expected. The worst part was, i haven’t been actively attending church for a few years now. I did sporadically attend church, but… I have not felt drawn to them. To be honest, half of the churches i tried attending felt cold, distant, even intimidatingly strange. I felt out of place.

So when i did eventually hit church this year, and realised that it was Lent, it was already the third week. First thing i did? I vowed to stay off red meat for the rest of the weeks leading to Easter.

For some people, they have felt it was stupid, going so far as to humiliate me and my understanding of Lent, God and religion as a whole. Someone asked me, while others giggled on the side, “can God make a rock he can’t pick up?” Aside from picking on the semantics, i can’t answer that, i can’t answer many things about God, because i am not him.

It hurt, and i wasn’t even preaching to them since they were the ones who asked why am i fasting for Lent?

Something changed this year though, and something important happened. The fact is, my life has changed and will continue to change for the better because of God’s intervention. This is strictly between Him, and me. There were so many things in the past that has changed too, all thanks to him. While i may not know all the answers with regards to God, nor explain away the problems that have ensued from people’s strong faith in all our various religions, i know that there’s a higher being who loves me and is helping me all the way.

And for all that, it was vital for me to at least attempt to FINISH my fasting. I have never once made it all the way to Easter. It’s only a few weeks, compared to a full 40 day, but if i succeed, this would make it the first time i have hit Easter and stuck to my fasting KNOWINGLY. That is my promise to God, to finish, to change and all for the better.

In fact, it’s been an easy ride. It was pretty surprising, how i have both knowingly and unknowingly felt my way through and now it’s near the end of Holy Week. In this whole lent, i have discovered that:

1) It’s probably easier for me to turn wholly vegetarian. Fish related meals are damn hard to find, and alternating to Chicken is too easy a way out. Albeit, i have only touched chicken like… 5 times?

2) Corn is awesome. Corn is awesome… and… corn is still awesome! i never thought i had like corn!

3) Chick peas are awesome too!

4) I have become too dependent on red meat.

That all said, while i am looking forward to a nice piece of steak, i am also looking forward to the next lent. I have successfully attended church for the last few weeks, and i am striving to make sure i don’t veer off the road this time. It’s hard work, which surprises me. Back home, even when it took an hour’s bus ride to church, i still made it on my own every week without fail. Now, i am such a lazy duck.

But… why did i suddenly go back to church? Ah, God works his own little miracles… and it’s not only about me. <3