waking at 6a.m = FAILED!!!

I have never been a morning person, and i wouldn’t pretend to be otherwise right now. from the time i was in primary school, waking at 6/7a.m was a hard issue. it would involved me trying to “wait another 5 minutes…” to my dad, my mum and, later on, myself. then it involved another 20 minutes of me rolling around in bed, muttering, “uhm… grff.. i don’t wanna… mmmrrff…” and another huge amount of socially-rejected, incoherent speech with myself about how life sucks but in my little “waking up” language.

today, with a deadline posted at somewhere near 5p.m, but totally covered with work till a possible 4p.m, i HAD TO wake up at 6a.m so i can finish my assignment. it’s a short 500 words statement to my lecturer with regards to my essay, and as of now, i am confused as to whether it actually counts towards my course because of a variety of issues.

at the same time too, what i wanted to get done isn’t readily available in books. i still don’t understand bits of it, and feel the need to write a 3000 word essay explaining everything rather than a dumb 500 word statement because i feel it wouldn’t have achieved much.

no seriously, how do you contextualise why the government did what they did during the Stolen Generation, eh?

1) for the general “white” public: to protect the whites from the blacks, who were “encroaching” on their property and causing some nuisance.

2) for the “true-blooded” “black” public: because they are “getting extinct” anyways, to conserve them in their own little tied off areas… and then they can’t vote, or do anything else, but to stay in those settlements because they might disturb the whites.

3) for the “half castes”: to assimilate them into the “whites” where, after a few generations, they would be entirely white, and then no one would notice they were ever blacks. this would in turn increase their employment, wealth and acceptance rate.

if it was up to me, this entire essay would be written with “racist bastards set out to eliminate cultures different from their own” as a title, and followed by, “they failed miserably because karma set them on fire.” and that would be the entirety of my essay.

yes, i will admit it now. there are many times through out my horribly long and lengthened uni-life that i met with mid uni-life crisis. to say i am disillusioned would be the beginning of it. sometimes, i don’t/can’t grasp things because i don’t want to face the fact that humans sometimes suck at being nice to each other. but if they were, they would be no need for politics.  however, obviously, i am now stuck in this little gutter where i OFTEN end up not understanding things. it sucks to understand few stuff in uni, when everyone else seem to know.

the other times that i do know stuff, i just want to reach out and wrangle a few stupid but very dead people.

ah… how wonderful that i feel so righteous, yet i know i suck at being nice to people too.  ^_^ back to my fucking assignment/statement shit.