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Dear Jake,

i rarely talk about you here, or talk to you here at all, because you know, we are on msn 24 7. or mostly we used to anyways.

the above picture is what i got, exactly as it is.

This cute monokuro boo lunchbox (yes thanks for indulging in my bento box fantasies)

Some anime that you think i might like plus ones that i requested.

my first ever real recipe book (because i hate recipe books so much, since they make me look like i can’t cook)

the bottles caps.

BUT DEAR SIR. WHY THE HELL DID YOU SEND ME A VICTORIA’S SECRETS PAPER BAG WITH NOTHING IN IT?!?!

excuse me while i go bang my head on the wall.

DON’T SEND A PAPER BAG, LET ME HAVE HIGH HOPES OF SOMETHING AWESOME, and only to find bottle caps in it. i LOVE bottle caps. but underwears are a different matter. it even had a PINK tissue paper in it, as if it held some precious underwear. i mean, DON’T SEND ME THE PAPER BAG AND TEMPT ME! at least you know you could have gotten this:

or even this:

or THIS!!!!:

all pictures by victoria’s secrets.

but no…. you had to send me an empty paperbag, with candies inside. i can assure you, i can’t wear candies as a daily underwear. and it will only infuriate me so much that when i do land at any american airport with some find VS products, i am emptying it.

and selling your ass to them to make up for any amount of money that i ain’t paying them.

and no, i don’t need the models to come with the damn g strings/thongs/rio.

In the mean time, rest assured i will tell your mum when to walk in on you while you are jerking off, so you can be sexually frustrated for the rest of next year. that’s for making me all HAPPY to see a nice little paper bag in there.

your girlfriend

cheryl

technorati tags:victoria secrets, VS, underwear, jake, boyfriends, empty, packages, angsty, personal, blog