stressed
as promise, here’s the product of my procrastination:
exhibit A:
the junkyard of a room:
Exhibit B: the slightly reformed room:
for those oblivious to the differences (because i know, i didn’t make my bed, and the table still looked as cluttered):
obviously i can’t take multi pictures of my room, you’ll be bored stiff. i did clean up my table as well, thus the reason why u can even see my laptop there (hint: it was layered with food and books.). clothes obviously got washed rather than being chucked on the floor, and bed… well i took this picture at night. i really don’t see the point making it at that time anymore.
it feels weird to have all this space though. i have been rubbing my toes against the bad carpet i have in my room, trying to ensure that i ain’t dreaming.
That saying, i have been procrastinating alot this week. the main reason was i am terribly stressed out and i really don’t want to go to school at all even. See, while i was busy and away doing my own assessments, my group assessment fell apart. Since monday, and after i have given them resources to check online, they have been constantly bugging me to bring them the resources to check out.
because apparently, they couldn’t find it online. ffs, if you type Dan Li in google, she’s SECOND from the top. Sherry Turkle is even more obvious. what’s so "i can’t find anything" about it? besides, i have them AUTHORS, not for them to check out the biblio, but to check out their books. why can’t they go to library and search?
"oh it’s ok, i prefer to do my research online."
the irony of this is, while we ARE in the infotech kinda age, we are even studying cyber communications, BUT we aren’t all that THERE yet (not quite sure if that bit makes sense). not all authors who have ever written wants their stuff on the web. neither is it easy to just grab it online. and if you don’t know what you are looking for (judging by their questions on monday "what’s our topic?" even at this late a date), then you won’t ever find it. there are, and always will be, issues to deal with copyright, with people doing "their" homework, but passing it off as their own.
And since they are too lazy to even do their research, all i have been doing the past few days have been racking up more research for them, for OUR THIRTY MINUTES PRESENTATION. it’s not going to work. i can’t do it anymore. i am sleeping at 8am, waking up way past class times some times, and i be late for class, and i have teachers on my arse. i can’t breathe. i want to throw rocks at someone.
on the one hand, i don’t blame the teacher. i am glad she threw them in my group so i can see for myself exactly what kind of a group worker i am. on the other hand, this is exactly like high school kind of attitudes with a higher level of pressure that’s all.
so i went to my tutor again yesterday, and told her how i felt. i have lost my motivation and interest in that course altogether, because of the stress factor. admittedly if i have to do my own essay now, i be more stressed, but i think i will be happier than being stuck in a group that depends on MY RESEARCH, instead of doing their own.
talking about which, lol….
here’s my homework that i mentioned previously, for my internet media and english comms class: Download.
Bear in mind a few things:
- this is a draft
- yes i know there are plenty of grammatical errors and awkward sentence structuring: i typed as i thought, so they might not necessarily flow. i am not the sort who would correct my drafts often though, so don’t beat me about it.
- this is meant to be a 500 word report, with some annotated bibliography, and is only the FIRST part of a THREE part report (so there’s more to come, and isn’t meant to be very complete either.)
i was supposed to get my evaluation on it done on wednesday, but i had to do some research and was feeling oozy, so i didn’t go for class. i guess i am lucky, because everyone told me she was going to kill me for handing in a 16 page report for a 500 word essay. She was a bit calmer yesterday :p
aside from the huge complaint and promise that she won’t mark it if my final product hits 45 pages, she had nothing else to talk about for my report because apparently, it’s an excellent piece of work for a college level report. i didn’t quite ask her, coz my ego was bursting with happiness at that time, but i am wondering now for uni standards, how would it compare.
yer, i topped the class, got a High Distinction, for my draft (that’s worth 15% or something anyways, so ain’t much).
these were her comments on the report itself though:
"HOW LONG IS THIS?!?!?! This is an excellent report with an exceedingly high level of research displayed. It needs to be much shorter! It’s only problem is that it needs further proof reading to remove awkward wording. AND HOW LONG IS THE ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY?!?!"
admittedly, sherry turkle blew my world away, i HAD to dedicate a page worth of biblio for her.
anyways, when i am done with the 2nd part, i will upload it and show you guys. oh, and my other homeworks too, since this is getting interesting as to how i am performing in class, other than econs. i have a strong feeling i am going to fail it somehow. mysteriously.
like anything that’s related to maths and econs, i suck at it.
technorati tags: personal, blogging, school, homework, essays, communications, group
