a tummy of water

i feel like a water sack now. as i walk from store to store, looking for a job, i was also wearing a light jacket in case of a sudden cold, which in canberra isn’t all that unexpected.

plus the fact that i was too lazy to take it off and look presentable.

so the “insulation” i made for myself ended up making me uber thirsty. i drank everything i could lay my hands on. mocha, bubble tea, water, sprite… anything, while i was looking for a job and handing in my grand total of 5 resumes today.

i know it doesn’t seem much as compared to one of my friends, who handed out a total of 20 resumes in a day. I was more on the look out for shops with obvious “WE NEED STAFF” signs. so far, i have handed one to boost juice, blooms, oportos, flatheads and camera house.

as each one pass though, i can not tell you how more and more hopeless i felt. while these ones today seem more interested than the few shops i have visited in the past, there’s still this face of “i am just patronising you” that i feel. some are more helpful, “we will contact you by xxx timeframe” and that was awesome and assuring. i know it doesn’t mean anything, but at least if this time frame passes, i know i shouldn’t wait or expect anything anymore, except to call back.

3 years ago, when i first walked out to hand out resumes, i was more hopeful. who wouldn’t be, after all, i have never failed to get the job i want, when i want it. as nobody called, not even a voicemail, i got more depressed. but i so need the job now more than ever, and it’s not only depressing, it’s annoying. every time i hear dad’s voice i get so frustrated.

i can’t tell him i am broke. or that i failed. or that i actually had no job for the entire time i was here. what with aunt feeding him tales of how easy it is to get a job in australia, it’s not true to everyone and every place. she lives in sydney, her children are born and bred here… they at least have some australian working background.

while i do have a string of famous brand names behind me, it doesn’t mean i can get a job easily, what with an international student status, no car, not even a driving license, and having to compete with everyone else for a job in civic because that’s the nearest place. i do try other place though, but if another student comes along with more flexible timing and a car, i am shoved aside.

i feel so sad.

the light for today though, has to be hog’s breath. i decided to take another route to the bus terminal today, and walked the longer way round, just looking at cafes’ and the signs out front. then, hog’s had this huge chalkboard saying “STAFFS REQ!!! apply within!!” all in cheery pinks and blues

^_^

i walked in and ask, and the people were grand. they asked me to come back on tuesday when the manager would be back from queensland and to have a chat with him, because that’s the easiest to determine if i would be hired or not and etc.

so… hog’s breath it is! well for tuesday’s lot of applications anyways.

not to mention being close to nice smelling food…

more bloody steaks….

:O ~~~

i am drooling already. still waiting on kfc belco’s reply as well. but if i can have hog’s… omg.. i will die right now happily wahaha….

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anyways, so after walking around and drinking ssooo much liquid, i walked into starbucks to have a mocha frap. for some odd reason, the woman at the counter both didn’t hear “frap” and “no cream” so i had a hot mocha with lotsa cream.

let me explain something. i love coffee. i don’t mind them hot. but anyone who knows me knows i don’t exactly like hot stuff, for reasons i have explained ages ago. hot drinks scares me, anything hot scares me. i like SPICY food, they don’t necessarily have to be physically hot though. and i don’t really like cream anymore.

so the combi of stuff that i didn’t exactly want kinda pissed me abit. she offered to make a new one, but i was desperate to want to sit down after a tiring long job hunt that i just brushed her aside and said “forget it” and then sat down and read my time magazine, sulking at the piping hot, creamy mocha. -.-

and then, george bush in time mag pissed me off further. this week’s time focused on katrina and her influence on new orleans. pictures and pictures of angsty people, teary people, old and broken people, there’s only so much one can take. on the one hand i hissed at the pain that i could see them feeling, on the other hand i was sad at the amount of deaths.

and then idiot bush.

Time magazine’s interpretation of bush was that he was reluctant to ask americans for help, to sacriface. i look at the war on iraq and stuff though, and wonder how is there a show of reluctance there?

and while he “reluctantly” admit that response was inadequate, i still see more press conferences than help, more news coverage than a real attempt at “let’s go do it, forget the red tape.” and then the reluctance to accept help…

doesn’t this sound like the guys ingame..?

++++ e penis 8===============D?????

ok so your americans does not need financial aid, but then, what about PHYSICAL AID?

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meanwhile, i seem to have some random rashes crawling around my thigh suddenly. i also seem to have a sudden urge to actually go running. but i hate running, eugh, everything on me bounces. from tits, to fats, its really annoying.

oh, and i have this huge urge that should i go running, i should bring a cup along as well, a cup of hot chocolate or something. sounds totally random and irrelevant yer? what if i spill that hot chocolate and scald myself? *shudders* or make the rash get worse?

oh wells. i am tired. i am going to shower and perhaps take a quick nap been up since 7 am haha…

P.S for those who have been ignoring my radio blog coz i don’t change it often, i have shoved some new stuff up there. new as in, was never up there before, and have deleted some of the old ones. it’s a boring process though, i promise to upload more in the near future seeing how few people listen in on it anyways, and ain’t likely to break my bandwidth much then